Golden Moments

It is better the second time around.

That was what I realized after I went back to the home for the golden aged people. Two years have passed. Not much has changed. The place, the people, the smiles and frowns on their faces are still the same. I had the chance to go there two years ago because of the Campus Ministry. I was once a part of it. I didn’t have much opportunity to mingle with them because there was not ample time. We just had presentations and stuff. We ate with them and that’s it. Yes, I somehow enjoyed it but that was not enough.

Something was knocking on my heart again. Something has called me to go back there. It was in the disguise of the CWTS. I could not expect it from them since it is like a military unit doing missionary work. But, I was just glad that that subject demanded us to do so. It was good news for us.

After the announcement, we immediately planned for the food and fun stuff we would do once we get there. Everything was sorted out, prepared for and certainly ready.

The day for the half-day affair came. We rode our ever loyal Kaoshiung bus which brought us pretty much wherever our destination is. When we arrived at the Gasa Sa Gugma, all of us were so quiet as if Ursula’s shell sucked our voices so as not for us to speak. It was the first Friday of the month, so the “Gen W” was expected to attend the mass and we were also expected to assist them to the chapel. While the mass was going on, we just talked and socialized with the elderly who were left outside the chapel. This was the main course of the whole thing.

We saw different moods of the old people who were staying there. Some were smiling, some have this stern look and some don’t have any feelings at all. Lolo Diosdado Bacolod was one of them. He kept on telling us his life story over and over again and also shared us many sermons as if we did something to anyone. Listening to his tales, we can somehow trace his real life story. It has something to do with his past, his family. It was a broken one. His thoughts were already disoriented. Because of this, I would want to become a psychologist and conduct a case study of him. But of course, that would be far from reality.

I liked Aurelia too. She was on the comic side. I would never forget how she says “NGEE!” whenever she hears anything ridiculous from us. She never wanted her son to get married to Theresa nor Gabby. That was what her “ngee” meant.

I won’t forget the one who was an FPJ and Estrada fanatic. He probably stayed there since 2000 or 2001 since he never knew that Erap was once the president nor that FPJ already died. He just liked them as actors, not as real people because he believes that they are the bad guys given the fact that they are the good guys in the movies.

Meeting people like them was fun, but heartbreaking though. Knowing their past is like traveling in a time machine, turning back time. Although we didn’t have the chance to showcase our talents, as well as theirs, the whole afternoon talking with them was worthwhile.

A Nightmare Before Christmas

Sometimes, I just want to sleep all day just to see him.

I have never seen him again. I don’t know when the next time will be when I could see him even just in my dreams because it’s getting more seldom. We share our moments together, happy or sad or sometimes, just nothing but his presence just makes my dream complete. When I have already dreamt of him, I can then say to myself that, “I can wake up now.” That would make my night and even throughout my day complete.

I am afraid that I might lose him forever. I would never want to forget his voice, his face, the way he calls my name, his smile and every little detail that I have known of him which is slowly happening since he now seldom visits me in my night. Even the thought of him that he is just a dream somehow puts a frown on my face.

“Oh, why are you here?” I greeted him with a question mark on my face.

He has not said a word but a smile on his face told me that he was glad to see me. I wanted to smile back to tell him that the feeling is mutual for both of us. It was a great surprise to me that I saw him. I never expected him to exist. It was because I never expected him to ever will; that is, in the living world. But as we know, when we are dreaming, we are not conscious that we are only dreaming. We assume that we are awake.

Dreams are the only strings left that attach myself to him. It is the only dimension in which both of us co-exist since he already left us. It is our only means of communication. I cannot say much anymore. I just miss him that’s all. It’s been a year since the last time we spent our last moments together. It was just too bad for me because at that time, he was already tired of talking. He breathed his last gasping breath. He breathed out his soul from his body. And that was how he left us.

It was a dark dawn.

“Would you want to visit him?”

After I rubbed my Garfield eyes I saw that it was my brother-in-law who was talking. I was still wondering why I should visit him at this time of the day. But, without a word and I can’t see any problem with it, I got up from my bed without hesitations. My brother and I went to visit him together. I can see in his face that he was trying to hide from me that he was alarmed why we should go there even though the sun wasn’t completely up. When we reached our destination, he never waited for the elevator to reach the ground. Instead, he ran up the stairs to reach the higher floors. I can’t stop him. He was just running so fast. I had to catch up with him. I never understood everything that was going on. Or, maybe, I did. It just did not sink in to my mind or I was in denial. When we reached that certain floor, I saw my brother and I saw him. It was like a dementor was sucking all my happiness from me when I saw him. Tears flowed from my eyes. I wailed. While I was crying, my eyes were shut.

I thought I was going to escape that nightmare when I could get my eyes open again. I thought I could wake up. But, I was just awake all those times after all.

It was a cold November, a nightmare before Christmas.