A Nightmare Before Christmas

Sometimes, I just want to sleep all day just to see him.

I have never seen him again. I don’t know when the next time will be when I could see him even just in my dreams because it’s getting more seldom. We share our moments together, happy or sad or sometimes, just nothing but his presence just makes my dream complete. When I have already dreamt of him, I can then say to myself that, “I can wake up now.” That would make my night and even throughout my day complete.

I am afraid that I might lose him forever. I would never want to forget his voice, his face, the way he calls my name, his smile and every little detail that I have known of him which is slowly happening since he now seldom visits me in my night. Even the thought of him that he is just a dream somehow puts a frown on my face.

“Oh, why are you here?” I greeted him with a question mark on my face.

He has not said a word but a smile on his face told me that he was glad to see me. I wanted to smile back to tell him that the feeling is mutual for both of us. It was a great surprise to me that I saw him. I never expected him to exist. It was because I never expected him to ever will; that is, in the living world. But as we know, when we are dreaming, we are not conscious that we are only dreaming. We assume that we are awake.

Dreams are the only strings left that attach myself to him. It is the only dimension in which both of us co-exist since he already left us. It is our only means of communication. I cannot say much anymore. I just miss him that’s all. It’s been a year since the last time we spent our last moments together. It was just too bad for me because at that time, he was already tired of talking. He breathed his last gasping breath. He breathed out his soul from his body. And that was how he left us.

It was a dark dawn.

“Would you want to visit him?”

After I rubbed my Garfield eyes I saw that it was my brother-in-law who was talking. I was still wondering why I should visit him at this time of the day. But, without a word and I can’t see any problem with it, I got up from my bed without hesitations. My brother and I went to visit him together. I can see in his face that he was trying to hide from me that he was alarmed why we should go there even though the sun wasn’t completely up. When we reached our destination, he never waited for the elevator to reach the ground. Instead, he ran up the stairs to reach the higher floors. I can’t stop him. He was just running so fast. I had to catch up with him. I never understood everything that was going on. Or, maybe, I did. It just did not sink in to my mind or I was in denial. When we reached that certain floor, I saw my brother and I saw him. It was like a dementor was sucking all my happiness from me when I saw him. Tears flowed from my eyes. I wailed. While I was crying, my eyes were shut.

I thought I was going to escape that nightmare when I could get my eyes open again. I thought I could wake up. But, I was just awake all those times after all.

It was a cold November, a nightmare before Christmas.