Torn Between Two Lovers

There are many decisions that we must make to move a step forward to self-fulfillment or to make things right and make ourselves happy. Many dilemmas always come our way in which both choices are of equal value and weight to our life. We get to choose between adobo or humba, Converse or Nike, or Nursing or Pharmacy (but, I would never want to choose between any of them). But sometimes, we must cross the Rubicon between two beloved souls which are very close to our hearts that will affect our lives forever.

He was once a student of the Blessed John XXIII Seminary when he was still in high school. He is a deep thinker with a brain filled with ideas, philosophies and principles in life which are very logical and reasonable. Since he is a person with a great mind, no wonder why he decided to study philosophy in college. Even though he chose philosophy, a stepping stone to priesthood, confusion still troubles him if he would go for being a priest or not.

“Being a priest is a nice idea but if I would be one, that job would be forever, there’s no turning back,” he said.

One thing is certain, he loves God. He wants to serve Him. He wants to share God’s love to others by going into the mission and search of young men who would also want to devote their selves to serving the Church. This mission is pretty tough. Nowadays, teenagers don’t have the mentality and right knowledge why being a priest is the right path in loving God more. Today, the conviction of the people is that they could serve God in many ways other than being a priest or a nun but a few people gets to know what it takes to be one—one in a thousand, perhaps.

“Only a few of us could think of being a priest as a lifetime job because no one ever says—WANTED: PHILOSOPHER,” he said. Maybe it’s only God’s will and his love for God is what’s keeping him in the seminary and into being a missionary.

Those who belong to the “thousands” who would never consider he being a priest could think of a million reasons why he would live in any way he wants but priesthood. He should sacrifice falling in love to someone, give up all his worldly things and live with his vows of poverty and chastity which is so hard for them to give up. He will miss his old self if he would enter that kind of life. But for the “one-in-a-thousand”, maybe he’ll miss the chance of serving God in the way priests do.

Another “he” never wanted to be the one-in-a-thousand. When he was still a kid, his parents would always take him to the church everyday. After every mass, nuns would always ask, “Will your son be a priest when he grows up?”

Currently, he is taking up Information Technology. He just chose this course just to stall the time that he would enter the seminary. His parents are willing to give their only son back to its Creator by letting him serve in the church. As I have known him, I can never even imagine him being one! But no one ever knows God’s plan. Up to now, he never had the courage to tell his parents that he would never want to enter the realm of the single servants of God who are in a convent. He just doesn’t want to disappoint his parents’ expectations.

Even if my other friend chose to enter the seminary, there are still confusions that are troubling him. Even though he has the freewill to choose, he has to weigh things reasonably. He must choose between his full service to God or his self or for someone he might love someday. As for the latter, I hope he could gain the courage to tell his parents his decision. But whatever path they may take, I believe it is part of God’s plan and will. They may personally regret their decision but when they would reach the end, I’m certain that hey will realize the self-fulfillment they are looking for.

Don’t be afraid to cross the Rubicon, may it be between the two beloved souls who is your own self and God or between any choices we may make, but be just equipped and you’ll end up doing the right thing although it may not be that instant. Regrets may just be a spice but it is just a domino falling that leads you to the right end. I believe everybody would have his happy ending.