She is someone I could never forget. She is someone whom I could be myself the most. One out of a thousand of my friends know much about me, and she is that one in a million. She cares a lot about me. She cares about my food, studies, my life, my friends and my family too. She never leaves me with my stomach empty. Could you just imagine how many pounds you would gain when you are always with her? Fortunately, my body is not that elastic.
Everyone thinks she is the man. But only a few of us knows what she really wanted in spite of her very open personality. Because of her open personality, everyone would willingly open up to her and feel secure with her but only a few understands the real Anne. They think they know too much of her, but no, they still never tried understanding her. There is more of her than her super friendly and approachable attitude. Both of us are being compared to each other on who is the more boyish between us but everyone would still say that she is more lady-like than I because of her heart. If she has the “pusong mammon”, I would have the “pusong bato”. Sounds tough.
I don’t know what has gotten into us that allowed us to be together. We never knew. It started on June 29, 2004. It was Juna’s birthday again, coincidentally; when she grabbed half the pack of that toblerone and ran away with it together with me. Partners in crime, are we not? We talked over delicate things while munching on that creamy, chocolatey chocolate bars. We never knew that food would be the start of everything and our world would revolve around food.
She is kind of weird in her choice of food. Here are her likes and dislikes. She:
Never eats something with ketchup
Always pour water on her rice not minding the temperature of the water. She could tolerate water temperature of 0 degrees Celsius.
Really likes Butterbean cookies that cost half of my life.
Prefers Sprite over Coca Cola
Never eats ngo hiong
Likes KFC Fun Shots
Never eats rats! (that would be weird if I would eat such)
Likes Cool Air
Would never leave home without breakfast (seems I am the weird one here because I always skip breakfast)
Never goes to a stargazing activity without Piknik
Waaaaaaaah! I cannot think of any particular weird thing about her anymore because there are too many of them!
Anyway, I love her for being the weird one to me. Weird in a sense that only both of us know. Our ideas on certain things may not go together but most of the time, we are on the same side. Music is one of the things where our minds seldom meet. She prefers R n B while I like alternative and rock better. But of course there are some songs that connect us both. We are of different religions but despite that we still are together. I guess the only key to this is respect.
Happy Birthday! This is my final blog. This is supposed to be posted on March 30, 2007.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
loneliness is not always next to oneliness
E.E. Cummings, a poet with a crazy mind. With his poems I have read (although I did not take time to understand most of them), his style in writing is very unconventional. He used the punctuations, the structure and positioning of the characters on the pages to express the idea of his poems. His construction of the lines even defies the correct English grammar. He started writing when he was still six. His first poem was dedicated to his father. Ever since then, his style in writing was never of the traditional way. One of these poems that is very symbolistic is Loneliness (A leaf falls). Many forums were put forth to talk about the poem of what message Cummings really want to reach us. I was so interested on their different views. There were many who presented views and I’ll just present to you what I think about their thoughts and formulate my own.
Now, let’s get this over with.
l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
l
iness
We can say that being lonely or loneliness doesn’t only refer to being alone or with no companion but it is the feeling of emptiness and isolation from the people around you. You can be lonely without being alone. For instance you attend a house party and the house is so crowded. Everyone except you is enjoying the party. You are not alone all those times but you feel so lonely and separated from them. Loneliness for me is the state of being in another dimension, whether or not you are with someone.
In the poem, we can see that the first and last letter “L” are alone, separated from the other characters in the poem. If we use courier new as our font style, which was frequently used in typewriters during his time, the character “1” looks the same as the small letter “l”. It could represent one and L at the same time. This could tell us that we are lonely if we are alone. If we would not consider the first “l” at the beginning of the poem, it could mean oneliness. According to the definition by the wikipedia.com, oneliness is the state of being one. With this definition, I think when you are in oneliness, you are with yourself and you are being yourself when you are alone. He just wanted to tell us something about loneliness and oneliness and how they are related.
Look at the first column of the poem. You can form the word fall and “soli” which could mean, in solitude, we may fall. That’s what I think. Solitude implies the choice of being alone which may not necessarily make you feel lonely. Probably you would be in the state of oneliness rather than in loneliness.
With the leaf that falls, I think the trend of the falling characters tells us something about the movement of the leaves when it falls. The whole structure of the poem is like the number one itself.
Now, let’s get this over with.
l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
l
iness
We can say that being lonely or loneliness doesn’t only refer to being alone or with no companion but it is the feeling of emptiness and isolation from the people around you. You can be lonely without being alone. For instance you attend a house party and the house is so crowded. Everyone except you is enjoying the party. You are not alone all those times but you feel so lonely and separated from them. Loneliness for me is the state of being in another dimension, whether or not you are with someone.
In the poem, we can see that the first and last letter “L” are alone, separated from the other characters in the poem. If we use courier new as our font style, which was frequently used in typewriters during his time, the character “1” looks the same as the small letter “l”. It could represent one and L at the same time. This could tell us that we are lonely if we are alone. If we would not consider the first “l” at the beginning of the poem, it could mean oneliness. According to the definition by the wikipedia.com, oneliness is the state of being one. With this definition, I think when you are in oneliness, you are with yourself and you are being yourself when you are alone. He just wanted to tell us something about loneliness and oneliness and how they are related.
Look at the first column of the poem. You can form the word fall and “soli” which could mean, in solitude, we may fall. That’s what I think. Solitude implies the choice of being alone which may not necessarily make you feel lonely. Probably you would be in the state of oneliness rather than in loneliness.
With the leaf that falls, I think the trend of the falling characters tells us something about the movement of the leaves when it falls. The whole structure of the poem is like the number one itself.
For YOU
This was a significant human experience which I wrote this last June 29, 2006 which I believe that day was Juna’s birthday, coincidentally.
It has been a month and a day since my first, at the same time, the ninth Annual Provincial Conference. This is one of the activities that made my summer worthwhile for the first time ever in my life. My usual summer is to just sleep, eat and watch TV at home and that summer, was the exact opposite. You may wonder why this event is the one I would want to share to you. Now, I’m going to tell you why.
There are many obstacles and realizations that I have learned even before this occurrence. First of which is that, “Where could I ever get money for this event?” I know my mom doesn’t have the money for this. With my allowance, I could never save much money from it within a short period of time. I am desperate to go there, so I prayed to Him and he gave me the best answer. He made me think of going to my brothers and sister and I succeeded. The corresponding realization to this is—“if there’s a will, there is a way.”
There are some competitions for the PYC. Gag shows, Battle of the Bands, A capela and the praise parade. Since the only competition which has available slots is only the praise parade, I have no choice but I just have to join this competition.
Praise parade is like a “Sinulog-type” competition. I was excited for this because for the first time, I joined a team competition which is not under the school. At this point, our second obstacle was—“How could we ever come up with this for just two weeks?”
Fortunately, three from the CNU dance troupe came to the rescue. They choreographed and added spices to our preliminary steps for the dance. We practiced every after Crash Course sessions in Mathematics. We even go home at about six in the afternoon just for this.
We were never thinking of winning this competition because we never knew what to expect and we think that it would be so impossible for us to be victorious. We saw the other teams’ costumes; they were really prepared for. All we knew is that, we are going to dance. Constant praying is the best weapon for this.
On the night of the show time, lights illuminated the battlefield, cheers and howls were what we could hear from the audience. It was like we are a team for a basketball game; it just gave us butterflies in our stomachs again. We were all nervous; we all felt like we were the team which is the least prepared. We can’t back off now, so we just gave ourselves an ultimate tip—smile and do your thing!
We gave our best shot but failed to win the competition. Normally, I would feel bad but, at that time, my smile never faded after that competition. After our show, with big drops of sweat on our faces, we all smiled (type 6!). It was so fulfilling for us. Our team mates greeted us with a surprise because they were so amazed of how we performed. they never expected it to happen.
Lord, after all our obstacles that You gave us, there are many things that could be learned from it. The praise was not just a competition after all, but it was just something to offer to You.
It has been a month and a day since my first, at the same time, the ninth Annual Provincial Conference. This is one of the activities that made my summer worthwhile for the first time ever in my life. My usual summer is to just sleep, eat and watch TV at home and that summer, was the exact opposite. You may wonder why this event is the one I would want to share to you. Now, I’m going to tell you why.
There are many obstacles and realizations that I have learned even before this occurrence. First of which is that, “Where could I ever get money for this event?” I know my mom doesn’t have the money for this. With my allowance, I could never save much money from it within a short period of time. I am desperate to go there, so I prayed to Him and he gave me the best answer. He made me think of going to my brothers and sister and I succeeded. The corresponding realization to this is—“if there’s a will, there is a way.”
There are some competitions for the PYC. Gag shows, Battle of the Bands, A capela and the praise parade. Since the only competition which has available slots is only the praise parade, I have no choice but I just have to join this competition.
Praise parade is like a “Sinulog-type” competition. I was excited for this because for the first time, I joined a team competition which is not under the school. At this point, our second obstacle was—“How could we ever come up with this for just two weeks?”
Fortunately, three from the CNU dance troupe came to the rescue. They choreographed and added spices to our preliminary steps for the dance. We practiced every after Crash Course sessions in Mathematics. We even go home at about six in the afternoon just for this.
We were never thinking of winning this competition because we never knew what to expect and we think that it would be so impossible for us to be victorious. We saw the other teams’ costumes; they were really prepared for. All we knew is that, we are going to dance. Constant praying is the best weapon for this.
On the night of the show time, lights illuminated the battlefield, cheers and howls were what we could hear from the audience. It was like we are a team for a basketball game; it just gave us butterflies in our stomachs again. We were all nervous; we all felt like we were the team which is the least prepared. We can’t back off now, so we just gave ourselves an ultimate tip—smile and do your thing!
We gave our best shot but failed to win the competition. Normally, I would feel bad but, at that time, my smile never faded after that competition. After our show, with big drops of sweat on our faces, we all smiled (type 6!). It was so fulfilling for us. Our team mates greeted us with a surprise because they were so amazed of how we performed. they never expected it to happen.
Lord, after all our obstacles that You gave us, there are many things that could be learned from it. The praise was not just a competition after all, but it was just something to offer to You.
Traces of Ink
(How I want to be Remembered...)
High School is the most memorable and fun thing most people experience in their lives. It is just sad to say that not everyone could have the chance to experience this. Maybe some would hate this stage because of the traumatic experiences in high school. It just depends, but normally, this is the best step where you start getting confused of who you are, what you want and who to trust but end knowing yourself better and mold yourself in preparation for us to be grown-ups.
Sometimes, we have mistaken ourselves as grown-ups but in reality we are still so immature. Most of the high school students think that high school is just for fun-fun-fun, breaking rules and falling in love. Well, I am just glad we can still say that UP high students are still normal since we also think this way. But there are many things that we think are more to life than these shallow things. There are just too many of them that I can’t name a thing.
Because of the bunch of activities and projects, here we showed ourselves* who we are; what talents we’ve got, our personality, our strengths and even our limitations. Let’s get particular here and let’s focus on me. If I were to fill up “Jo-Harris window”, here are the things that I would put forth in the everyone-knows and only-I-know portion.
I am a person of strong-will. I seldom fear failure because I believe failure is part of success. God plans and with His will, I shall have my happy ending. This would reveal that I believe and trust God but I am never the good girl. I am a daredevil, I know. Never want to let new opportunities pass and even seek for it.
Being a daredevil reveals something in me. “Being a daredevil” here comes with trying to do things which men think only they can do it. I’m not the girly type of girl, you know. It’s not that I have a split personality disorder or undergoing a gender crisis, but most of the time, I am boyish. I can’t do anything but be a girl for the rest of my life. My friends always get surprised and even think that it’s a miracle of me, wearing chic clothes like I was never a girl for once in my life.
Being a daredevil comes with confidence too. If you have enough confidence, you would believe in yourself that you can do anything. Confidence also comes with talent, because you would be more confident if you know how to do the things you need to do.
My confidence somehow led the wrong impression of my real me or maybe I just don’t like being known for my being artistic. Here in UP, my friends think that I am very good in art. Being artistic and creative is a very broad scope; I just don’t understand what is so artistic of me. All I know is that I enjoy drawing faces like in Japanime. I don’t even do it that much. I’m not that good in it. I have no particular talent. I just learn new things that why I pretty know a bit on many things. But I have no forte.
In this blog, I know you will know another new thing about me with the way I think. Whatever impression that is, I hope you will somehow figure out what I really wanted you to know about me.
*since sometimes we get surprised of what new discoveries in ourselves would reveal.
High School is the most memorable and fun thing most people experience in their lives. It is just sad to say that not everyone could have the chance to experience this. Maybe some would hate this stage because of the traumatic experiences in high school. It just depends, but normally, this is the best step where you start getting confused of who you are, what you want and who to trust but end knowing yourself better and mold yourself in preparation for us to be grown-ups.
Sometimes, we have mistaken ourselves as grown-ups but in reality we are still so immature. Most of the high school students think that high school is just for fun-fun-fun, breaking rules and falling in love. Well, I am just glad we can still say that UP high students are still normal since we also think this way. But there are many things that we think are more to life than these shallow things. There are just too many of them that I can’t name a thing.
Because of the bunch of activities and projects, here we showed ourselves* who we are; what talents we’ve got, our personality, our strengths and even our limitations. Let’s get particular here and let’s focus on me. If I were to fill up “Jo-Harris window”, here are the things that I would put forth in the everyone-knows and only-I-know portion.
I am a person of strong-will. I seldom fear failure because I believe failure is part of success. God plans and with His will, I shall have my happy ending. This would reveal that I believe and trust God but I am never the good girl. I am a daredevil, I know. Never want to let new opportunities pass and even seek for it.
Being a daredevil reveals something in me. “Being a daredevil” here comes with trying to do things which men think only they can do it. I’m not the girly type of girl, you know. It’s not that I have a split personality disorder or undergoing a gender crisis, but most of the time, I am boyish. I can’t do anything but be a girl for the rest of my life. My friends always get surprised and even think that it’s a miracle of me, wearing chic clothes like I was never a girl for once in my life.
Being a daredevil comes with confidence too. If you have enough confidence, you would believe in yourself that you can do anything. Confidence also comes with talent, because you would be more confident if you know how to do the things you need to do.
My confidence somehow led the wrong impression of my real me or maybe I just don’t like being known for my being artistic. Here in UP, my friends think that I am very good in art. Being artistic and creative is a very broad scope; I just don’t understand what is so artistic of me. All I know is that I enjoy drawing faces like in Japanime. I don’t even do it that much. I’m not that good in it. I have no particular talent. I just learn new things that why I pretty know a bit on many things. But I have no forte.
In this blog, I know you will know another new thing about me with the way I think. Whatever impression that is, I hope you will somehow figure out what I really wanted you to know about me.
*since sometimes we get surprised of what new discoveries in ourselves would reveal.
A Weapon
(The Look)
This blog requirement is a tough one. This is because I’m not that food in interpreting poems. Anyway, as what I’ve learned in our poetry class, a poem would have a different approach on different readers because of the different experiences of the readers on poetry. We have various outlooks in life and so this would affect how we look on things like on poetry.
The look is the most powerful weapon one could have that would make cupid work and strike an arrow to someone. This is what I have understood in the two 4-line stanza poem. The persona here have many admirers here, I believe—Strephon, Robin and Colin. If I could make a story out of this poem, this would go like this:
Strephon was in love with the persona only during the springtime. Maybe she liked him too; maybe she didn’t like him at all. But as the poem says, “Strephon kissed me in the spring”, this may imply that she had allowed him to kiss her which may also mean that she liked him too. Maybe they were together for some time only, specifically during the spring. I think that the “in the” could make the line mean something else; I just don’t know what it is.
Here comes Robin who made his move on the persona during the fall. They were together only for the whole duration of fall. A kiss would be quite a great move to touch someone’s heart, not for me, but for someone like the persona in the poem. The persona may have fallen for Robin for quite some time too.
Maybe there was somebody who loved the girl during the summer only and winter too. The days have past, the seasons have changed but I think there was this somebody who has always been there waiting for her through those times even though the girl has changed boyfriends through the four seasons of loneliness. And Colin is now on the scene. He may be her friend ever since. But, he never expressed his feelings for the girl. On the other side of the story, even though Colin never did anything or he just didn’t fall for her, but she is just struck every time he would look at her, may it be with something or not. Even though she has a boyfriend, she was unconscious that she liked him more than who she is with. Confusing, huh? Maybe this was the time when she wrote this poem, when she was in a confusing stage.
On the second stanza, she is evaluating and weighing things. With this, she realized that she liked Strephon and Robin because of their caresses, we could just imagine the touch which could come with the kisses. Only Colin’s look is what it takes to move the persona.
On the more negative side of things, I could say that Colin is a stalker when she said, “but the kiss in Colin’s eyes haunts me day and night.” This may terrify the girl because of the malicious look of Colin on her. Even though she has a boyfriend, Colin would never give up on her which totally disturbs her. It reminds me of the song “Hunger” by Faspitch.
A powerful weapon of love and hate—the look.
This blog requirement is a tough one. This is because I’m not that food in interpreting poems. Anyway, as what I’ve learned in our poetry class, a poem would have a different approach on different readers because of the different experiences of the readers on poetry. We have various outlooks in life and so this would affect how we look on things like on poetry.
The look is the most powerful weapon one could have that would make cupid work and strike an arrow to someone. This is what I have understood in the two 4-line stanza poem. The persona here have many admirers here, I believe—Strephon, Robin and Colin. If I could make a story out of this poem, this would go like this:
Strephon was in love with the persona only during the springtime. Maybe she liked him too; maybe she didn’t like him at all. But as the poem says, “Strephon kissed me in the spring”, this may imply that she had allowed him to kiss her which may also mean that she liked him too. Maybe they were together for some time only, specifically during the spring. I think that the “in the” could make the line mean something else; I just don’t know what it is.
Here comes Robin who made his move on the persona during the fall. They were together only for the whole duration of fall. A kiss would be quite a great move to touch someone’s heart, not for me, but for someone like the persona in the poem. The persona may have fallen for Robin for quite some time too.
Maybe there was somebody who loved the girl during the summer only and winter too. The days have past, the seasons have changed but I think there was this somebody who has always been there waiting for her through those times even though the girl has changed boyfriends through the four seasons of loneliness. And Colin is now on the scene. He may be her friend ever since. But, he never expressed his feelings for the girl. On the other side of the story, even though Colin never did anything or he just didn’t fall for her, but she is just struck every time he would look at her, may it be with something or not. Even though she has a boyfriend, she was unconscious that she liked him more than who she is with. Confusing, huh? Maybe this was the time when she wrote this poem, when she was in a confusing stage.
On the second stanza, she is evaluating and weighing things. With this, she realized that she liked Strephon and Robin because of their caresses, we could just imagine the touch which could come with the kisses. Only Colin’s look is what it takes to move the persona.
On the more negative side of things, I could say that Colin is a stalker when she said, “but the kiss in Colin’s eyes haunts me day and night.” This may terrify the girl because of the malicious look of Colin on her. Even though she has a boyfriend, Colin would never give up on her which totally disturbs her. It reminds me of the song “Hunger” by Faspitch.
A powerful weapon of love and hate—the look.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
My Birth from My Third Family
I have three families: my biological family, my beloved school and my YFC family. I am glad that I belong to these three. They love me so much that is why I love them too.
I am a Youth for Christ since the first day of October, two years ago. I was overjoyed when it occurred to me. I couldn't wait for the succeeding activities we would have after that youth camp (that's how we became members of the YFC).
It was two weeks before the periodical test when the event was held, so i didn't have time to to attend prayer meetings, assemblies and other activities. Since i was still a “baby YFC” then (a term used to refer new members), i still don't have much friends that i could go with and i still felt that i don't exist at those times.
This family is just like a typical biological family. I have my brothers and sisters or the other YFC members and even parents—our titos and titas from the Couple's for Christ. They are always there to guide you. Luckily, one of my “parents” is just always in school for me—Tita Belle.
Tita Belle and Tito Alvin is the couple coordinator for our Chapter so she knows what is up in YFC. They tell us what's the buzz and empower us to continue to serve God.
One of the summer activities we had (Well, not really summer for us UP students since we are still busy that time), was when the Seniors '06 had their youth camp instead of having a formal retreat in the Boy Scout Camp last April. We are always glad and willing to serve God in this little way with this camp. So, with no second thoughts, we said yes to the call. This was my first time to serve for the camp.
We served as “prayer warriors” for this camp. We always pray for the success and safety of our camp. Aside from this, we really worked as an all-around servants, that is, to wash the dishes, run errands and attend to the needs of the participants or the Seniors.
In a camp, we have praise and worship, reflections and personal prayers. Fun is also one of the principles of YFC; games were never absent. Fellowship and teamwork are always essential for the success of this camp; so we have to make friends with the “ate's and kuya's”. the feeling of belongingness is what you will get from this. I felt so close to God this time with the help of my friends. They inspire to serve Him more.
There were many things that God made me realize with that camp. It taught me to be patient for those who are apathetic; that although youth camps can happen several times in my life, new experiences and lessons are always there. After that significant camp, I am always eager to serve God more. We, together with my brothers and sisters in Christ, attended household prayer meetings, sectoral assemblies, the 9th Provincial Youth Conference and the Gawad Kalinga Freedom Build last June 12, which made my Independence Day a significant one.
That camp was my way of serving God in a fun and challenging way.
I am a Youth for Christ since the first day of October, two years ago. I was overjoyed when it occurred to me. I couldn't wait for the succeeding activities we would have after that youth camp (that's how we became members of the YFC).
It was two weeks before the periodical test when the event was held, so i didn't have time to to attend prayer meetings, assemblies and other activities. Since i was still a “baby YFC” then (a term used to refer new members), i still don't have much friends that i could go with and i still felt that i don't exist at those times.
This family is just like a typical biological family. I have my brothers and sisters or the other YFC members and even parents—our titos and titas from the Couple's for Christ. They are always there to guide you. Luckily, one of my “parents” is just always in school for me—Tita Belle.
Tita Belle and Tito Alvin is the couple coordinator for our Chapter so she knows what is up in YFC. They tell us what's the buzz and empower us to continue to serve God.
One of the summer activities we had (Well, not really summer for us UP students since we are still busy that time), was when the Seniors '06 had their youth camp instead of having a formal retreat in the Boy Scout Camp last April. We are always glad and willing to serve God in this little way with this camp. So, with no second thoughts, we said yes to the call. This was my first time to serve for the camp.
We served as “prayer warriors” for this camp. We always pray for the success and safety of our camp. Aside from this, we really worked as an all-around servants, that is, to wash the dishes, run errands and attend to the needs of the participants or the Seniors.
In a camp, we have praise and worship, reflections and personal prayers. Fun is also one of the principles of YFC; games were never absent. Fellowship and teamwork are always essential for the success of this camp; so we have to make friends with the “ate's and kuya's”. the feeling of belongingness is what you will get from this. I felt so close to God this time with the help of my friends. They inspire to serve Him more.
There were many things that God made me realize with that camp. It taught me to be patient for those who are apathetic; that although youth camps can happen several times in my life, new experiences and lessons are always there. After that significant camp, I am always eager to serve God more. We, together with my brothers and sisters in Christ, attended household prayer meetings, sectoral assemblies, the 9th Provincial Youth Conference and the Gawad Kalinga Freedom Build last June 12, which made my Independence Day a significant one.
That camp was my way of serving God in a fun and challenging way.
Love: An Act of Will?
“Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favored definitions of love involve altruism, selflessness, friendship, union, family, and bonding or connecting with another” (wikipedia.com).
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (I Corinthians 13 verses 4-8)
There are many definitions of love as what a person can perceive of it. Maybe I have the same definition of what love is with other people in the world. For me, you love someone when you seek to change someone for the better or you seek to change yourself for the better for that someone whom you love.
In my previous blog, I said that, “Love is in a relationship where both parties give and take. It is unselfish.” I would further express my ideas about what I think of this topic. Let us consider the statement below.
“To love is to choose. Love is an action. Not just a feeling.” (Someone from yahoo answers)
Pertinent to the first sentence, I disagree. For me, when you love, your conscious mind never gets to choose whom you would love. I don’t know a scientific explanation to this but your heart would just beat for someone when you can never figure out what you really love about him or her (talking about romantic love). It is an act of the heart and also not just a feeling.
I still disagree to its first sentence when we talk about the love for your family. You don’t choose whether to love them or not. We have no choice, not because it is my will or it is my obligation to love them back, but it is because my heart tells me to do so. Suppose your parents were so irresponsible that they almost neglect you and you hate them so much because of this. Then, one day, they would die in a car crash. You would still end up crying upon their graves regretting. Why? We don’t know. Love is so hard to explain. It is not loving because of will.
Love is an action of seeking betterment for each other. When you love, you sacrifice much for the one you love, not to the point of making yourself a martyr but just doing good things to the beneficiary of your love. You may sacrifice things that you like the most just to show you affection and make your relationship better. This applies to any kind of love.
Okay, I admit, I am really confused of the parameters here but I hope somehow you get my own point of view from this blogpost. To continue…
Love is an act of heart. This is my stand. When you already love a person, you do things that could make you both better by your will to show and express your love for each other.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (I Corinthians 13 verses 4-8)
There are many definitions of love as what a person can perceive of it. Maybe I have the same definition of what love is with other people in the world. For me, you love someone when you seek to change someone for the better or you seek to change yourself for the better for that someone whom you love.
In my previous blog, I said that, “Love is in a relationship where both parties give and take. It is unselfish.” I would further express my ideas about what I think of this topic. Let us consider the statement below.
“To love is to choose. Love is an action. Not just a feeling.” (Someone from yahoo answers)
Pertinent to the first sentence, I disagree. For me, when you love, your conscious mind never gets to choose whom you would love. I don’t know a scientific explanation to this but your heart would just beat for someone when you can never figure out what you really love about him or her (talking about romantic love). It is an act of the heart and also not just a feeling.
I still disagree to its first sentence when we talk about the love for your family. You don’t choose whether to love them or not. We have no choice, not because it is my will or it is my obligation to love them back, but it is because my heart tells me to do so. Suppose your parents were so irresponsible that they almost neglect you and you hate them so much because of this. Then, one day, they would die in a car crash. You would still end up crying upon their graves regretting. Why? We don’t know. Love is so hard to explain. It is not loving because of will.
Love is an action of seeking betterment for each other. When you love, you sacrifice much for the one you love, not to the point of making yourself a martyr but just doing good things to the beneficiary of your love. You may sacrifice things that you like the most just to show you affection and make your relationship better. This applies to any kind of love.
Okay, I admit, I am really confused of the parameters here but I hope somehow you get my own point of view from this blogpost. To continue…
Love is an act of heart. This is my stand. When you already love a person, you do things that could make you both better by your will to show and express your love for each other.
business and pleasure
For almost a year we have been working exhaustively on our Research project. This is one of the greatest loads a UP High student could carry when he or she would reach his or her final year in this high school, I suppose, based on what we have experienced in the whole duration of our senior year.
Summer 2006, we were told of our topics to research on. I was somehow excited about this but rather nervous too because I did not know what to expect in this major science project. This project is for two units. A great deal, it is. I have thought of these things because when I was still a freshman, senior students at that time made us answer a pile of questionnaires that often say, “Please answer objectively”. We answered it non-subjectively, that’s good but we never answered objectively too, since their theses were the least of our concerns. Their theses were about social or psychological issues, not as scientific as ours. Science research is a big thing, we have to conduct it ourselves and not let other subjects just answer questionnaires and stuff. I could just think of how much paper is wasted for scratch work we would deal with when we would reach this far. Even hearing the word “defense” just gives me some butterflies in my stomach and some shivering sensation to my knees.
And so, we went to the corridors and took a look at the list of who would be with me on this battlefield. Whew… What a relief. The first thing that entered my mind is that our research is going to be fun not because of the topic but because my group mates are fun to be with. During the hot summer time, we often meet for our initial plans for the project. Our subjects were quite challenging for Daisy. She has to conquer her fear factor, wriggly, ugly worms. For me and Aiko, they were cute, slimy pets. Arvin would rather deal with the muddy soil than deal with those earthworms. Summer was fun because sometimes, we stay at our house and play Rival Schools, our favorite PS game. We would never forget Hinata’s “i-spinning attack”! We went to the grazing lands to gather some cows’ dung for our compost, which was unfortunately of no use to our study. We had some challenging games of gathering dung with our hands covered with plastic and that you can still feel the actual texture of the filthy waste. We really had a hard time on the process in the conduct of our study and the technical writing part. Many times we had to edit hard copies which were too costly for us. Fortunately, Arvin had the resources for printing. Many criticisms we humbly accepted from our advisers and panelists for the improvement of our study.
Stress, time pressure, trials and, most of the time, errors are what you would surely get with this endeavor. But, apart from all that, careless mistakes corrected; lessons learned; fun enjoyed. Those were what we got.
Summer 2006, we were told of our topics to research on. I was somehow excited about this but rather nervous too because I did not know what to expect in this major science project. This project is for two units. A great deal, it is. I have thought of these things because when I was still a freshman, senior students at that time made us answer a pile of questionnaires that often say, “Please answer objectively”. We answered it non-subjectively, that’s good but we never answered objectively too, since their theses were the least of our concerns. Their theses were about social or psychological issues, not as scientific as ours. Science research is a big thing, we have to conduct it ourselves and not let other subjects just answer questionnaires and stuff. I could just think of how much paper is wasted for scratch work we would deal with when we would reach this far. Even hearing the word “defense” just gives me some butterflies in my stomach and some shivering sensation to my knees.
And so, we went to the corridors and took a look at the list of who would be with me on this battlefield. Whew… What a relief. The first thing that entered my mind is that our research is going to be fun not because of the topic but because my group mates are fun to be with. During the hot summer time, we often meet for our initial plans for the project. Our subjects were quite challenging for Daisy. She has to conquer her fear factor, wriggly, ugly worms. For me and Aiko, they were cute, slimy pets. Arvin would rather deal with the muddy soil than deal with those earthworms. Summer was fun because sometimes, we stay at our house and play Rival Schools, our favorite PS game. We would never forget Hinata’s “i-spinning attack”! We went to the grazing lands to gather some cows’ dung for our compost, which was unfortunately of no use to our study. We had some challenging games of gathering dung with our hands covered with plastic and that you can still feel the actual texture of the filthy waste. We really had a hard time on the process in the conduct of our study and the technical writing part. Many times we had to edit hard copies which were too costly for us. Fortunately, Arvin had the resources for printing. Many criticisms we humbly accepted from our advisers and panelists for the improvement of our study.
Stress, time pressure, trials and, most of the time, errors are what you would surely get with this endeavor. But, apart from all that, careless mistakes corrected; lessons learned; fun enjoyed. Those were what we got.
Monday, March 26, 2007
wormyculture (research article)
As population increases, the number of bags filled with garbage, may it be inorganic or organic, also increases. Farmers already made innovations on how to reduce biodegradable wastes and at the same time benefiting them for their plant growing. One of these solutions is called Vermicomposting. This is the decomposing of organic wastes through the annelidic consumption. The castings or the organic wastes produced by these earthworms, specifically known as the African Nightcrawlers, are used as a fertilizer, which is five times more effective than the ordinary soil mixture. This is the rationale behind our study.
We wanted to know if the type of feed could affect the growth of the African Nightcrawlers in terms of their length and mass. We also aimed to figure out which type of feed could make the Nighcrawlers produce the greatest amount of worm castings.
We bought the African Nightcrawlers from Cabantan, Barangay Luz. There, the residents sold us the worms and gave us some tips in raising them. We randomly grouped the worms into the four groups by the type of feed that would be consumed by the subjects. One group was fed with 7 grams of paper; the other was fed with decayed vegetables; the third group was fed with the mixture of both paper and vegetables and for the control group, we did not feed them with anything.
Here’s the picture:
Each set-up has 300 g of soil and 235 mL of water. All the groups are of the same conditions except for the feed given to them. The worms were fed weekly. We also measured their lengths and mass weekly for five weeks. We also measured the worm castings while we were measuring the growth of the African Nightcrawlers. Every after measurement, we make renew the whole set-up of each group.
We saw that there was no significant difference between the lengths and masses of the different groups of Nightcrawlers. We yielded the greatest amount of worm castings from the group of worms which consumed vegetables.
After the five observations, we analyzed the data gathered. We found out that the type of feed could not affect the growth of the African Nightcrawlers in terms of their length and mass. Vegetable feed is the most effect feed in terms of the production of worm castings by the African Nightcrawlers.
By feeding African Nightcrawlers with your organic garbage, you do not only help them grow healthy but you also help reduce garbage, saving mother earth and enriching the soil with the nutrients it would need for growing plants without harming the earth. As a domino effect, this would help in the livelihood of farmers, and vermiculturists and somehow give jobs to the unemployed and somehow save many people.
We wanted to know if the type of feed could affect the growth of the African Nightcrawlers in terms of their length and mass. We also aimed to figure out which type of feed could make the Nighcrawlers produce the greatest amount of worm castings.
We bought the African Nightcrawlers from Cabantan, Barangay Luz. There, the residents sold us the worms and gave us some tips in raising them. We randomly grouped the worms into the four groups by the type of feed that would be consumed by the subjects. One group was fed with 7 grams of paper; the other was fed with decayed vegetables; the third group was fed with the mixture of both paper and vegetables and for the control group, we did not feed them with anything.
Here’s the picture:
Each set-up has 300 g of soil and 235 mL of water. All the groups are of the same conditions except for the feed given to them. The worms were fed weekly. We also measured their lengths and mass weekly for five weeks. We also measured the worm castings while we were measuring the growth of the African Nightcrawlers. Every after measurement, we make renew the whole set-up of each group.
We saw that there was no significant difference between the lengths and masses of the different groups of Nightcrawlers. We yielded the greatest amount of worm castings from the group of worms which consumed vegetables.
After the five observations, we analyzed the data gathered. We found out that the type of feed could not affect the growth of the African Nightcrawlers in terms of their length and mass. Vegetable feed is the most effect feed in terms of the production of worm castings by the African Nightcrawlers.
By feeding African Nightcrawlers with your organic garbage, you do not only help them grow healthy but you also help reduce garbage, saving mother earth and enriching the soil with the nutrients it would need for growing plants without harming the earth. As a domino effect, this would help in the livelihood of farmers, and vermiculturists and somehow give jobs to the unemployed and somehow save many people.
THe Shallow Deep
It would be so hard to make an autobiography since I believe that, as one of my friends said to me, only God has a full non-subjective perception of a particular person, which could be ourselves. When you tell your own story to others, you get to choose what to reveal of yourself. It may be biased. But this depends on the person who would want to tell his autobiography. If it would be hard for me to speak about myself, it would be much harder for me to speak about other people’s lives but at least, I could just tell you about her, with my utmost knowledge.
A stork sent this delicate package at the doorsteps of one of the residences of Subangdaku, Mandaue City. It was a sunny Thursday morning of December 13, sixteen years have past, when her parents received and cradled her in their arms (the more ridiculous you would seem than I telling this Stork Story if you would believe in my Stork Story). Since they were living in Mandaue then, her parents sent her, plus her two brothers and only sister, to St. Joseph’s Academy, her elementary Alma mater. But when she was still eight, they moved to Lilo-an and continued to study in that school anyway. There she had many playmates and there she lived in their new abode.
Lilo-an is so far from the city but her parents insisted that she would still study high school in the University of the Philippines since they believe it is best for her to get this high standard of education. Here she mingled with her lifetime friends (presumably) and enjoyed the taste of life (sarcastically speaking) and pleasure (Now, I mean it.). Four years have past since she entered the university and now she is equipped to enter another stage of her life----college.
Before that stage, there are many things that she revealed to me as we were together with our family and friends. Maybe I am the most knowledgeable person about her. She is gutsy, I know; much of a daredevil she is. She never lets an opportunity pass, whether she would try a pleasurable experience or she would face her fear factor. She really wants to try new things and discover for herself. She never wants to stop her brain from learning. Curiosity is what drives her but ignorance would never destroy this girl because she already have the knowledge from what she learned out of the curiosity itself and the new things she unveiled herself.
With this kind of personality, no wonder how she captured the hearts of her friends. She often tells her friends what situation they are currently in through the different songs she knew. Now this tells you that she loves music so much. She likes the set of any songs of different genre minus the set of boyband craps.
Music is what you can immediately perceive of her, if you don’t know her that much. She would be deaf without it. When music dies, she would still remain a mystery to me since only God knows a full non-subjective perception of a particular person.
A stork sent this delicate package at the doorsteps of one of the residences of Subangdaku, Mandaue City. It was a sunny Thursday morning of December 13, sixteen years have past, when her parents received and cradled her in their arms (the more ridiculous you would seem than I telling this Stork Story if you would believe in my Stork Story). Since they were living in Mandaue then, her parents sent her, plus her two brothers and only sister, to St. Joseph’s Academy, her elementary Alma mater. But when she was still eight, they moved to Lilo-an and continued to study in that school anyway. There she had many playmates and there she lived in their new abode.
Lilo-an is so far from the city but her parents insisted that she would still study high school in the University of the Philippines since they believe it is best for her to get this high standard of education. Here she mingled with her lifetime friends (presumably) and enjoyed the taste of life (sarcastically speaking) and pleasure (Now, I mean it.). Four years have past since she entered the university and now she is equipped to enter another stage of her life----college.
Before that stage, there are many things that she revealed to me as we were together with our family and friends. Maybe I am the most knowledgeable person about her. She is gutsy, I know; much of a daredevil she is. She never lets an opportunity pass, whether she would try a pleasurable experience or she would face her fear factor. She really wants to try new things and discover for herself. She never wants to stop her brain from learning. Curiosity is what drives her but ignorance would never destroy this girl because she already have the knowledge from what she learned out of the curiosity itself and the new things she unveiled herself.
With this kind of personality, no wonder how she captured the hearts of her friends. She often tells her friends what situation they are currently in through the different songs she knew. Now this tells you that she loves music so much. She likes the set of any songs of different genre minus the set of boyband craps.
Music is what you can immediately perceive of her, if you don’t know her that much. She would be deaf without it. When music dies, she would still remain a mystery to me since only God knows a full non-subjective perception of a particular person.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Your Identity
Our Filipino language borrowed much from the English language. Sometimes, we even find it hard to translate these “English” words to their original Filipino equivalent. I just realized this when we had our debate in Filipino last week. At the peak of our debate, we just shift to speaking the English language instead of speaking in Filipino. We just frequently have our own construction of Filipino words like, mag- maintain, paki-explain, the worst and the most funny phrase we could ever say is, “paki-step ng break”.
It is so sad to note for us Filipinos that we always go for English as the medium for instruction when we don’t even go for the perfection of our own language. We would all agree to this because we can have trade relations to the whole world if we can speak to other people of different races. But, is this the real reason why we want to learn this precious foreign language? Don’t we deny that we want to learn the English language so we can work for international companies and save our own souls from the poverty of our own country? So we can get out of the mess in the Philippines by working abroad and work for the foreigners or perhaps be their slaves? Am I right, or am I right? I just hope I’m totally wrong but I know I’m just near to the right answer.
Now, it is still debatable whether we should use English as the medium for instruction even though laws or bills have been passed allowing this to happen. One of the politicians that I know of that strongly supports this law is one of the Cebuano congressmen. He made it clear with his speech when the painting on longest continuous canvass for the cause of the preservation of marine life was launched. He really tackled on the theme of the event. He was really troubled why it is in Filipino when we don’t understand much of our Filipino language. It should have been in English. Then, he talked more on advantages of the bill rather than talking about the good points of the event.
Anyway, I could care less of what he was babbling about although, he persuaded me a bit on why we should use English as the medium for instruction. Sorry, but I could barely remember how he convinced me.
Some of the books that I like are from the works of Bob Ong. His second book was entitled: “Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ang mga Pilipino?” It talks about the culture and traditions of the Filipino that seems funny to other races and which they could criticize. Bob Ong’s job here is to give justifications to our peculiar culture and give counter-criticisms to them who criticize us.
There is a portion in that book where he asked the reader to translate some of the English words to Filipino. You might as well give your best shot on this.
Effective
Handicraft
Multiplication
Bone
Seed
Radiation
Soil
Land
Oxidation
Chemical Reduction
Nimbus Cloud
High Tide
Fog
Cloud
Electricity
Electromagnet
Electroflow
Electric Field
With these, you may laugh at our language that it is so poor that we can’t even translate it to our own language; that we always depend on our foreign language and borrow from them but, think again.
The translations of these words are borrowed from the different dialects: Visaya, Pangasinense, from the Kampampangans, and the Batangueños. They constitute our Filipino language. This is the power of our archipelago! Don’t be bothered by the answers to the items, but if you insist, just read the book yourself and you would get to discover more of who you are as a Filipino.
It is so sad to note for us Filipinos that we always go for English as the medium for instruction when we don’t even go for the perfection of our own language. We would all agree to this because we can have trade relations to the whole world if we can speak to other people of different races. But, is this the real reason why we want to learn this precious foreign language? Don’t we deny that we want to learn the English language so we can work for international companies and save our own souls from the poverty of our own country? So we can get out of the mess in the Philippines by working abroad and work for the foreigners or perhaps be their slaves? Am I right, or am I right? I just hope I’m totally wrong but I know I’m just near to the right answer.
Now, it is still debatable whether we should use English as the medium for instruction even though laws or bills have been passed allowing this to happen. One of the politicians that I know of that strongly supports this law is one of the Cebuano congressmen. He made it clear with his speech when the painting on longest continuous canvass for the cause of the preservation of marine life was launched. He really tackled on the theme of the event. He was really troubled why it is in Filipino when we don’t understand much of our Filipino language. It should have been in English. Then, he talked more on advantages of the bill rather than talking about the good points of the event.
Anyway, I could care less of what he was babbling about although, he persuaded me a bit on why we should use English as the medium for instruction. Sorry, but I could barely remember how he convinced me.
Some of the books that I like are from the works of Bob Ong. His second book was entitled: “Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ang mga Pilipino?” It talks about the culture and traditions of the Filipino that seems funny to other races and which they could criticize. Bob Ong’s job here is to give justifications to our peculiar culture and give counter-criticisms to them who criticize us.
There is a portion in that book where he asked the reader to translate some of the English words to Filipino. You might as well give your best shot on this.
Effective
Handicraft
Multiplication
Bone
Seed
Radiation
Soil
Land
Oxidation
Chemical Reduction
Nimbus Cloud
High Tide
Fog
Cloud
Electricity
Electromagnet
Electroflow
Electric Field
With these, you may laugh at our language that it is so poor that we can’t even translate it to our own language; that we always depend on our foreign language and borrow from them but, think again.
The translations of these words are borrowed from the different dialects: Visaya, Pangasinense, from the Kampampangans, and the Batangueños. They constitute our Filipino language. This is the power of our archipelago! Don’t be bothered by the answers to the items, but if you insist, just read the book yourself and you would get to discover more of who you are as a Filipino.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
A Broad Horizon
I know that every other senior is going to blog* about the JS Prom. It is the talk of the town lately. “How was the food? The ambience? The Prophecy? Legacy?” or “the overall package?!” These are some of the questions that teachers and parents asked us. But, on the intimate side of things, everyone else is talking and asking “How’s was your last dance?” or “Who was your last dance?” or “Who were the persons you danced with?” and “How was your night with your special someone?”
These are just some of the FAQ’s (Frequently Asked Questions). There are many who really care about those things. There are many who fell in love that night. Indeed there are many miracles that happened that night. But, I never experienced such kind of sensation. Anyway, I never wished I did. The bad thing here is that I could never relate to what my friends share to me. I wish I could help them somehow. In the first place, I never knew what feeling is.
I really had a vague idea of what love really is, although I have my own ideas of what it is for me. Love is in a relationship where both parties give and take. It is unselfish. To sum it all up, it is doing something good to someone. But, I still never knew the feeling.
For me, you love someone when you want to change him or her for the good and at the same time; you are also willing to change for the better for the one you love. That is my cause of loving. You may think my questions and ideas are too shallow. Maybe you will think that I never tried loving someone. Loving is caring. Convince me that I’m wrong, if I really am.
There are many persons and instances that God gave me to show what love is, to let me know what it is and share this precious loved to others.
My purpose in life is to do well to everyone and do everything in moderation. In Buddhism, do the middle way. I tried to control myself from all the temptations in this world as possible and prevent sin. I always try to live as well as I can be. With the help of my God, I know I can survive in this world. Praying is our communication. He is my strength.
God called me to confirm my Christian life. And at this point, he let me listen to his word. Love is never about the feeling. The feeling may sometimes come to a decline but that doesn’t mean that your love has faded away. If this happens, the best thing that we could do is to pray that we may continue to care for the one wee love. Of course, ups and downs would never be lost in loving.
Love and everything is going to be all right.
Blog* v. to write about a topic and post it on your own blogspot.
These are just some of the FAQ’s (Frequently Asked Questions). There are many who really care about those things. There are many who fell in love that night. Indeed there are many miracles that happened that night. But, I never experienced such kind of sensation. Anyway, I never wished I did. The bad thing here is that I could never relate to what my friends share to me. I wish I could help them somehow. In the first place, I never knew what feeling is.
I really had a vague idea of what love really is, although I have my own ideas of what it is for me. Love is in a relationship where both parties give and take. It is unselfish. To sum it all up, it is doing something good to someone. But, I still never knew the feeling.
For me, you love someone when you want to change him or her for the good and at the same time; you are also willing to change for the better for the one you love. That is my cause of loving. You may think my questions and ideas are too shallow. Maybe you will think that I never tried loving someone. Loving is caring. Convince me that I’m wrong, if I really am.
There are many persons and instances that God gave me to show what love is, to let me know what it is and share this precious loved to others.
My purpose in life is to do well to everyone and do everything in moderation. In Buddhism, do the middle way. I tried to control myself from all the temptations in this world as possible and prevent sin. I always try to live as well as I can be. With the help of my God, I know I can survive in this world. Praying is our communication. He is my strength.
God called me to confirm my Christian life. And at this point, he let me listen to his word. Love is never about the feeling. The feeling may sometimes come to a decline but that doesn’t mean that your love has faded away. If this happens, the best thing that we could do is to pray that we may continue to care for the one wee love. Of course, ups and downs would never be lost in loving.
Love and everything is going to be all right.
Blog* v. to write about a topic and post it on your own blogspot.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
The Opaque Bill
House Bill 4110 is all about the Reproductive Health Act. It strengthens its implementing structures. This act provides and enacts the rights of the women, men and children to reproductive health equally and without discrimination. Some of these rights and provisions include the information of the citizens about reproductive health, the access to reproductive health care services and all.
Now, some of the forums say that they wanted to abolish this bill. Summarizing this bill, it all cares about the people’s reproductive health (RH) like family planning, contraception and health care services. But, why do they want this bill to be abolished?
In its section 5, one of the elements of RH is the Prevention and Management of Abortion and its Complications. Here, abortion will be prevented but it will also be managed. Why would there be complications of abortion if it is prevented; if it is not legalized? I think this is also what the opposition noticed. It may not be encouraging abortion but it implies that if a mother commits abortion, they would just tolerate it and treat its complications. Well, it’s good that they are helping these psychologically and physiologically unfortunate mothers who have complication due to abortion but let’s think about this—these complications could never happen if abortion is totally prevented.
Still in section 5, one of the functions of the DOH-led NRHMC is to review the laws and take necessary efforts to amend such laws and policies on some areas. One of these areas is abortion. They may amend or repeal the laws against abortion. This may mean that they may make changes regarding its sanctions or may even legalize abortion in order to control the overpopulation. The house bill is so vague on some parts that one may be confused of its interpretation.
I hope that the House of Representatives would reconsider the bill or make some amendments to it, specifically on section 5, the third element will be limited to the prevention of abortion and make no mention of its complications, so that total prevention will be enacted. This amendment is also for the purpose of not bothering different religious convictions of different people. They must be specific on the “amendments” that they are speaking of because this has no assurance of what changes they might make. Sanctions or penalties may even be repealed which should not be.
I just hope that they are making this bill for the common good and for the country’s development and not just for their own interests for business that they may be hiding from us.
Now, some of the forums say that they wanted to abolish this bill. Summarizing this bill, it all cares about the people’s reproductive health (RH) like family planning, contraception and health care services. But, why do they want this bill to be abolished?
In its section 5, one of the elements of RH is the Prevention and Management of Abortion and its Complications. Here, abortion will be prevented but it will also be managed. Why would there be complications of abortion if it is prevented; if it is not legalized? I think this is also what the opposition noticed. It may not be encouraging abortion but it implies that if a mother commits abortion, they would just tolerate it and treat its complications. Well, it’s good that they are helping these psychologically and physiologically unfortunate mothers who have complication due to abortion but let’s think about this—these complications could never happen if abortion is totally prevented.
Still in section 5, one of the functions of the DOH-led NRHMC is to review the laws and take necessary efforts to amend such laws and policies on some areas. One of these areas is abortion. They may amend or repeal the laws against abortion. This may mean that they may make changes regarding its sanctions or may even legalize abortion in order to control the overpopulation. The house bill is so vague on some parts that one may be confused of its interpretation.
I hope that the House of Representatives would reconsider the bill or make some amendments to it, specifically on section 5, the third element will be limited to the prevention of abortion and make no mention of its complications, so that total prevention will be enacted. This amendment is also for the purpose of not bothering different religious convictions of different people. They must be specific on the “amendments” that they are speaking of because this has no assurance of what changes they might make. Sanctions or penalties may even be repealed which should not be.
I just hope that they are making this bill for the common good and for the country’s development and not just for their own interests for business that they may be hiding from us.
A Missionary
(KYSD)
Personally, I don’t want to be a student of a student teacher. It is not that I don’t respect them, but it just makes me lazier. Well, it just depends on the student teacher if he or she could get my attention which is hard to catch. I want to learn from them anyway since I don’t want my grades to plunge into the ocean of abyssal depth, just because I didn’t listen to my student teachers. What a lame alibi.
This is why I really tried to be a teacher, it is more challenging to be standing in front of my classmates and teaching them the lessons. It is not easy to let people with the same level of your own intellect understand the lesson that are supposed to teach them, especially if the subject you are handling is Calculus. Even I am not good at it at all. I chose to (share my knowledge is not the right phrase) teach in this subject because it obliges me to study the coverage in advance. I could take advantage of this opportunity. Normally, I don’t read my Calculus book at home as a hobby or as a part of my daily routine unless we would have home works to do which should be done at home and never at school. This made me feel more responsible about my studies. That was just a feeling, but it never actually changed me.
Being a teacher is a big responsibility. That’s the greatest I ever grasped with this opportunity to give teachers their break and carry the burden (in my own perspective). I don’t know if teachers consider teaching as a burden because in the first place, why in the world would they choose it as their profession if they find it so stressful. Well, that’s just the way it is—life is empty without stress. Maybe, it’s all about the passion. But of course, money must come after the passion which can be one of the sources of motivation that drives our beloved mentors to pursue in teaching (although this is not a general thought).
Teaching can be considered as a missionary work. It is indeed a tough job based on my personal experience even though that experience was just for a day. Making lesson plans, tests and computing grades of hundreds of students or even thousands (for teachers of public schools) is a heavy job. You must deal with your students not just as students but also as a son or daughter. Teachers must know the strengths and weaknesses of their children. They should know the factors affecting their students’ learning capacity may it be financial, psychological or emotional.
I haven’t got deeper into the job of being one and haven’t known personally what it takes to be one. I am just glad that somehow I had the taste of being one. I already experienced the feeling whenever my classmates looked at me blankly when they don’t understand a thing on what I’m saying. I realized that it is not the teacher that we dislike, but the subject itself. That is the challenge of a teacher—how to stimulate their students to study a subject that they never like.
That was fun though. I would never want to die without trying the real thing.
Personally, I don’t want to be a student of a student teacher. It is not that I don’t respect them, but it just makes me lazier. Well, it just depends on the student teacher if he or she could get my attention which is hard to catch. I want to learn from them anyway since I don’t want my grades to plunge into the ocean of abyssal depth, just because I didn’t listen to my student teachers. What a lame alibi.
This is why I really tried to be a teacher, it is more challenging to be standing in front of my classmates and teaching them the lessons. It is not easy to let people with the same level of your own intellect understand the lesson that are supposed to teach them, especially if the subject you are handling is Calculus. Even I am not good at it at all. I chose to (share my knowledge is not the right phrase) teach in this subject because it obliges me to study the coverage in advance. I could take advantage of this opportunity. Normally, I don’t read my Calculus book at home as a hobby or as a part of my daily routine unless we would have home works to do which should be done at home and never at school. This made me feel more responsible about my studies. That was just a feeling, but it never actually changed me.
Being a teacher is a big responsibility. That’s the greatest I ever grasped with this opportunity to give teachers their break and carry the burden (in my own perspective). I don’t know if teachers consider teaching as a burden because in the first place, why in the world would they choose it as their profession if they find it so stressful. Well, that’s just the way it is—life is empty without stress. Maybe, it’s all about the passion. But of course, money must come after the passion which can be one of the sources of motivation that drives our beloved mentors to pursue in teaching (although this is not a general thought).
Teaching can be considered as a missionary work. It is indeed a tough job based on my personal experience even though that experience was just for a day. Making lesson plans, tests and computing grades of hundreds of students or even thousands (for teachers of public schools) is a heavy job. You must deal with your students not just as students but also as a son or daughter. Teachers must know the strengths and weaknesses of their children. They should know the factors affecting their students’ learning capacity may it be financial, psychological or emotional.
I haven’t got deeper into the job of being one and haven’t known personally what it takes to be one. I am just glad that somehow I had the taste of being one. I already experienced the feeling whenever my classmates looked at me blankly when they don’t understand a thing on what I’m saying. I realized that it is not the teacher that we dislike, but the subject itself. That is the challenge of a teacher—how to stimulate their students to study a subject that they never like.
That was fun though. I would never want to die without trying the real thing.
Investment
Investment
There are many changes that already occurred in this world, the people, the places, the usual things that happen, and even the culture of many groups of people. The only thing that never changed here on earth is change. We made all of these changes just because of our own good. Science innovations, technology and other discoveries existed and still continued on growing for the improvement of the lives of humanity. We should cope up with these changes so that we could survive in this harsh world. Survival of the fittest, this is the law of nature. These kinds of changes are not the only changes that happen to our lives. Let us go and check the small-scale changes that most of us, even I, should undergo.
In our family, I am known as the school achiever. Even when I was still in elementary, yearly have I been going upstage to get awards because of my academic achievement. My father was very proud of this that he would say with a grin on his face, “Magsakit man sad akong tuhod sa sige og saka sa stage tungod ana imong kalaki!”
I laughed at this idea that he might get varicose because of me. But that’s not the main idea of what he said. It was the great pressure that he exerted on me. I must maintain that honor that he already has thought of me until his knees will reach a chronic disease because of going upstage.
High school welcomed me then and with my parents’ support and trust that I may overcome hardships in my studies with the distance and high standard education, they sent me to the University of the Philippines. Indeed, it is very hard maintaining what has been up for years in this school. This is maybe because of the extra-curricular activities that we always had. Yes, I am a consistent honor student in this university but I don’t know if I could still keep it up now that I am now in my final year, it is so damn hard. My mom has sacrificed much now for my schooling. It’s like twenty-four hours is not enough for us. Every time she complains about why I can’t help much in the house chores, what I always say is that, “Hapit na ko mu-graduate. Konting tiis nalang.” And at this point, it is I who now would say with a smile, and a squeeze to my soul.
Yes, my mom has sacrificed a lot for me, for us. It would surely pain her if I cannot repay her for all that she did and what she gave up for this cost. Because of this, more pressure is on me. Now I should get rich. This is what I’m studying for, for us to swim up from the deep ocean. Because of her sacrifices, I should be able to raise her up from the ashes. That is the feeling. I do not know how I could make this dream come true. College is the final step to make the prophecy happen.
All of these sacrifices are the investments my mom and I made for our future. I have to face this new phase in my life in order for me to survive.
It is nice to hear that one day, I’ll get up from my bed then someone would send me my breakfast in bed, then she would say, “Good morning, miss. Your mom going for a shopping and your car is now ready for your work. Miss, I’m now going to clean the living room of your house.”
There are many changes that already occurred in this world, the people, the places, the usual things that happen, and even the culture of many groups of people. The only thing that never changed here on earth is change. We made all of these changes just because of our own good. Science innovations, technology and other discoveries existed and still continued on growing for the improvement of the lives of humanity. We should cope up with these changes so that we could survive in this harsh world. Survival of the fittest, this is the law of nature. These kinds of changes are not the only changes that happen to our lives. Let us go and check the small-scale changes that most of us, even I, should undergo.
In our family, I am known as the school achiever. Even when I was still in elementary, yearly have I been going upstage to get awards because of my academic achievement. My father was very proud of this that he would say with a grin on his face, “Magsakit man sad akong tuhod sa sige og saka sa stage tungod ana imong kalaki!”
I laughed at this idea that he might get varicose because of me. But that’s not the main idea of what he said. It was the great pressure that he exerted on me. I must maintain that honor that he already has thought of me until his knees will reach a chronic disease because of going upstage.
High school welcomed me then and with my parents’ support and trust that I may overcome hardships in my studies with the distance and high standard education, they sent me to the University of the Philippines. Indeed, it is very hard maintaining what has been up for years in this school. This is maybe because of the extra-curricular activities that we always had. Yes, I am a consistent honor student in this university but I don’t know if I could still keep it up now that I am now in my final year, it is so damn hard. My mom has sacrificed much now for my schooling. It’s like twenty-four hours is not enough for us. Every time she complains about why I can’t help much in the house chores, what I always say is that, “Hapit na ko mu-graduate. Konting tiis nalang.” And at this point, it is I who now would say with a smile, and a squeeze to my soul.
Yes, my mom has sacrificed a lot for me, for us. It would surely pain her if I cannot repay her for all that she did and what she gave up for this cost. Because of this, more pressure is on me. Now I should get rich. This is what I’m studying for, for us to swim up from the deep ocean. Because of her sacrifices, I should be able to raise her up from the ashes. That is the feeling. I do not know how I could make this dream come true. College is the final step to make the prophecy happen.
All of these sacrifices are the investments my mom and I made for our future. I have to face this new phase in my life in order for me to survive.
It is nice to hear that one day, I’ll get up from my bed then someone would send me my breakfast in bed, then she would say, “Good morning, miss. Your mom going for a shopping and your car is now ready for your work. Miss, I’m now going to clean the living room of your house.”
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Golden Moments
It is better the second time around.
That was what I realized after I went back to the home for the golden aged people. Two years have passed. Not much has changed. The place, the people, the smiles and frowns on their faces are still the same. I had the chance to go there two years ago because of the Campus Ministry. I was once a part of it. I didn’t have much opportunity to mingle with them because there was not ample time. We just had presentations and stuff. We ate with them and that’s it. Yes, I somehow enjoyed it but that was not enough.
Something was knocking on my heart again. Something has called me to go back there. It was in the disguise of the CWTS. I could not expect it from them since it is like a military unit doing missionary work. But, I was just glad that that subject demanded us to do so. It was good news for us.
After the announcement, we immediately planned for the food and fun stuff we would do once we get there. Everything was sorted out, prepared for and certainly ready.
The day for the half-day affair came. We rode our ever loyal Kaoshiung bus which brought us pretty much wherever our destination is. When we arrived at the Gasa Sa Gugma, all of us were so quiet as if Ursula’s shell sucked our voices so as not for us to speak. It was the first Friday of the month, so the “Gen W” was expected to attend the mass and we were also expected to assist them to the chapel. While the mass was going on, we just talked and socialized with the elderly who were left outside the chapel. This was the main course of the whole thing.
We saw different moods of the old people who were staying there. Some were smiling, some have this stern look and some don’t have any feelings at all. Lolo Diosdado Bacolod was one of them. He kept on telling us his life story over and over again and also shared us many sermons as if we did something to anyone. Listening to his tales, we can somehow trace his real life story. It has something to do with his past, his family. It was a broken one. His thoughts were already disoriented. Because of this, I would want to become a psychologist and conduct a case study of him. But of course, that would be far from reality.
I liked Aurelia too. She was on the comic side. I would never forget how she says “NGEE!” whenever she hears anything ridiculous from us. She never wanted her son to get married to Theresa nor Gabby. That was what her “ngee” meant.
I won’t forget the one who was an FPJ and Estrada fanatic. He probably stayed there since 2000 or 2001 since he never knew that Erap was once the president nor that FPJ already died. He just liked them as actors, not as real people because he believes that they are the bad guys given the fact that they are the good guys in the movies.
Meeting people like them was fun, but heartbreaking though. Knowing their past is like traveling in a time machine, turning back time. Although we didn’t have the chance to showcase our talents, as well as theirs, the whole afternoon talking with them was worthwhile.
That was what I realized after I went back to the home for the golden aged people. Two years have passed. Not much has changed. The place, the people, the smiles and frowns on their faces are still the same. I had the chance to go there two years ago because of the Campus Ministry. I was once a part of it. I didn’t have much opportunity to mingle with them because there was not ample time. We just had presentations and stuff. We ate with them and that’s it. Yes, I somehow enjoyed it but that was not enough.
Something was knocking on my heart again. Something has called me to go back there. It was in the disguise of the CWTS. I could not expect it from them since it is like a military unit doing missionary work. But, I was just glad that that subject demanded us to do so. It was good news for us.
After the announcement, we immediately planned for the food and fun stuff we would do once we get there. Everything was sorted out, prepared for and certainly ready.
The day for the half-day affair came. We rode our ever loyal Kaoshiung bus which brought us pretty much wherever our destination is. When we arrived at the Gasa Sa Gugma, all of us were so quiet as if Ursula’s shell sucked our voices so as not for us to speak. It was the first Friday of the month, so the “Gen W” was expected to attend the mass and we were also expected to assist them to the chapel. While the mass was going on, we just talked and socialized with the elderly who were left outside the chapel. This was the main course of the whole thing.
We saw different moods of the old people who were staying there. Some were smiling, some have this stern look and some don’t have any feelings at all. Lolo Diosdado Bacolod was one of them. He kept on telling us his life story over and over again and also shared us many sermons as if we did something to anyone. Listening to his tales, we can somehow trace his real life story. It has something to do with his past, his family. It was a broken one. His thoughts were already disoriented. Because of this, I would want to become a psychologist and conduct a case study of him. But of course, that would be far from reality.
I liked Aurelia too. She was on the comic side. I would never forget how she says “NGEE!” whenever she hears anything ridiculous from us. She never wanted her son to get married to Theresa nor Gabby. That was what her “ngee” meant.
I won’t forget the one who was an FPJ and Estrada fanatic. He probably stayed there since 2000 or 2001 since he never knew that Erap was once the president nor that FPJ already died. He just liked them as actors, not as real people because he believes that they are the bad guys given the fact that they are the good guys in the movies.
Meeting people like them was fun, but heartbreaking though. Knowing their past is like traveling in a time machine, turning back time. Although we didn’t have the chance to showcase our talents, as well as theirs, the whole afternoon talking with them was worthwhile.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
A Nightmare Before Christmas
Sometimes, I just want to sleep all day just to see him.
I have never seen him again. I don’t know when the next time will be when I could see him even just in my dreams because it’s getting more seldom. We share our moments together, happy or sad or sometimes, just nothing but his presence just makes my dream complete. When I have already dreamt of him, I can then say to myself that, “I can wake up now.” That would make my night and even throughout my day complete.
I am afraid that I might lose him forever. I would never want to forget his voice, his face, the way he calls my name, his smile and every little detail that I have known of him which is slowly happening since he now seldom visits me in my night. Even the thought of him that he is just a dream somehow puts a frown on my face.
“Oh, why are you here?” I greeted him with a question mark on my face.
He has not said a word but a smile on his face told me that he was glad to see me. I wanted to smile back to tell him that the feeling is mutual for both of us. It was a great surprise to me that I saw him. I never expected him to exist. It was because I never expected him to ever will; that is, in the living world. But as we know, when we are dreaming, we are not conscious that we are only dreaming. We assume that we are awake.
Dreams are the only strings left that attach myself to him. It is the only dimension in which both of us co-exist since he already left us. It is our only means of communication. I cannot say much anymore. I just miss him that’s all. It’s been a year since the last time we spent our last moments together. It was just too bad for me because at that time, he was already tired of talking. He breathed his last gasping breath. He breathed out his soul from his body. And that was how he left us.
It was a dark dawn.
“Would you want to visit him?”
After I rubbed my Garfield eyes I saw that it was my brother-in-law who was talking. I was still wondering why I should visit him at this time of the day. But, without a word and I can’t see any problem with it, I got up from my bed without hesitations. My brother and I went to visit him together. I can see in his face that he was trying to hide from me that he was alarmed why we should go there even though the sun wasn’t completely up. When we reached our destination, he never waited for the elevator to reach the ground. Instead, he ran up the stairs to reach the higher floors. I can’t stop him. He was just running so fast. I had to catch up with him. I never understood everything that was going on. Or, maybe, I did. It just did not sink in to my mind or I was in denial. When we reached that certain floor, I saw my brother and I saw him. It was like a dementor was sucking all my happiness from me when I saw him. Tears flowed from my eyes. I wailed. While I was crying, my eyes were shut.
I thought I was going to escape that nightmare when I could get my eyes open again. I thought I could wake up. But, I was just awake all those times after all.
It was a cold November, a nightmare before Christmas.
I have never seen him again. I don’t know when the next time will be when I could see him even just in my dreams because it’s getting more seldom. We share our moments together, happy or sad or sometimes, just nothing but his presence just makes my dream complete. When I have already dreamt of him, I can then say to myself that, “I can wake up now.” That would make my night and even throughout my day complete.
I am afraid that I might lose him forever. I would never want to forget his voice, his face, the way he calls my name, his smile and every little detail that I have known of him which is slowly happening since he now seldom visits me in my night. Even the thought of him that he is just a dream somehow puts a frown on my face.
“Oh, why are you here?” I greeted him with a question mark on my face.
He has not said a word but a smile on his face told me that he was glad to see me. I wanted to smile back to tell him that the feeling is mutual for both of us. It was a great surprise to me that I saw him. I never expected him to exist. It was because I never expected him to ever will; that is, in the living world. But as we know, when we are dreaming, we are not conscious that we are only dreaming. We assume that we are awake.
Dreams are the only strings left that attach myself to him. It is the only dimension in which both of us co-exist since he already left us. It is our only means of communication. I cannot say much anymore. I just miss him that’s all. It’s been a year since the last time we spent our last moments together. It was just too bad for me because at that time, he was already tired of talking. He breathed his last gasping breath. He breathed out his soul from his body. And that was how he left us.
It was a dark dawn.
“Would you want to visit him?”
After I rubbed my Garfield eyes I saw that it was my brother-in-law who was talking. I was still wondering why I should visit him at this time of the day. But, without a word and I can’t see any problem with it, I got up from my bed without hesitations. My brother and I went to visit him together. I can see in his face that he was trying to hide from me that he was alarmed why we should go there even though the sun wasn’t completely up. When we reached our destination, he never waited for the elevator to reach the ground. Instead, he ran up the stairs to reach the higher floors. I can’t stop him. He was just running so fast. I had to catch up with him. I never understood everything that was going on. Or, maybe, I did. It just did not sink in to my mind or I was in denial. When we reached that certain floor, I saw my brother and I saw him. It was like a dementor was sucking all my happiness from me when I saw him. Tears flowed from my eyes. I wailed. While I was crying, my eyes were shut.
I thought I was going to escape that nightmare when I could get my eyes open again. I thought I could wake up. But, I was just awake all those times after all.
It was a cold November, a nightmare before Christmas.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Torn Between Two Lovers
There are many decisions that we must make to move a step forward to self-fulfillment or to make things right and make ourselves happy. Many dilemmas always come our way in which both choices are of equal value and weight to our life. We get to choose between adobo or humba, Converse or Nike, or Nursing or Pharmacy (but, I would never want to choose between any of them). But sometimes, we must cross the Rubicon between two beloved souls which are very close to our hearts that will affect our lives forever.
He was once a student of the Blessed John XXIII Seminary when he was still in high school. He is a deep thinker with a brain filled with ideas, philosophies and principles in life which are very logical and reasonable. Since he is a person with a great mind, no wonder why he decided to study philosophy in college. Even though he chose philosophy, a stepping stone to priesthood, confusion still troubles him if he would go for being a priest or not.
“Being a priest is a nice idea but if I would be one, that job would be forever, there’s no turning back,” he said.
One thing is certain, he loves God. He wants to serve Him. He wants to share God’s love to others by going into the mission and search of young men who would also want to devote their selves to serving the Church. This mission is pretty tough. Nowadays, teenagers don’t have the mentality and right knowledge why being a priest is the right path in loving God more. Today, the conviction of the people is that they could serve God in many ways other than being a priest or a nun but a few people gets to know what it takes to be one—one in a thousand, perhaps.
“Only a few of us could think of being a priest as a lifetime job because no one ever says—WANTED: PHILOSOPHER,” he said. Maybe it’s only God’s will and his love for God is what’s keeping him in the seminary and into being a missionary.
Those who belong to the “thousands” who would never consider he being a priest could think of a million reasons why he would live in any way he wants but priesthood. He should sacrifice falling in love to someone, give up all his worldly things and live with his vows of poverty and chastity which is so hard for them to give up. He will miss his old self if he would enter that kind of life. But for the “one-in-a-thousand”, maybe he’ll miss the chance of serving God in the way priests do.
Another “he” never wanted to be the one-in-a-thousand. When he was still a kid, his parents would always take him to the church everyday. After every mass, nuns would always ask, “Will your son be a priest when he grows up?”
Currently, he is taking up Information Technology. He just chose this course just to stall the time that he would enter the seminary. His parents are willing to give their only son back to its Creator by letting him serve in the church. As I have known him, I can never even imagine him being one! But no one ever knows God’s plan. Up to now, he never had the courage to tell his parents that he would never want to enter the realm of the single servants of God who are in a convent. He just doesn’t want to disappoint his parents’ expectations.
Even if my other friend chose to enter the seminary, there are still confusions that are troubling him. Even though he has the freewill to choose, he has to weigh things reasonably. He must choose between his full service to God or his self or for someone he might love someday. As for the latter, I hope he could gain the courage to tell his parents his decision. But whatever path they may take, I believe it is part of God’s plan and will. They may personally regret their decision but when they would reach the end, I’m certain that hey will realize the self-fulfillment they are looking for.
Don’t be afraid to cross the Rubicon, may it be between the two beloved souls who is your own self and God or between any choices we may make, but be just equipped and you’ll end up doing the right thing although it may not be that instant. Regrets may just be a spice but it is just a domino falling that leads you to the right end. I believe everybody would have his happy ending.
He was once a student of the Blessed John XXIII Seminary when he was still in high school. He is a deep thinker with a brain filled with ideas, philosophies and principles in life which are very logical and reasonable. Since he is a person with a great mind, no wonder why he decided to study philosophy in college. Even though he chose philosophy, a stepping stone to priesthood, confusion still troubles him if he would go for being a priest or not.
“Being a priest is a nice idea but if I would be one, that job would be forever, there’s no turning back,” he said.
One thing is certain, he loves God. He wants to serve Him. He wants to share God’s love to others by going into the mission and search of young men who would also want to devote their selves to serving the Church. This mission is pretty tough. Nowadays, teenagers don’t have the mentality and right knowledge why being a priest is the right path in loving God more. Today, the conviction of the people is that they could serve God in many ways other than being a priest or a nun but a few people gets to know what it takes to be one—one in a thousand, perhaps.
“Only a few of us could think of being a priest as a lifetime job because no one ever says—WANTED: PHILOSOPHER,” he said. Maybe it’s only God’s will and his love for God is what’s keeping him in the seminary and into being a missionary.
Those who belong to the “thousands” who would never consider he being a priest could think of a million reasons why he would live in any way he wants but priesthood. He should sacrifice falling in love to someone, give up all his worldly things and live with his vows of poverty and chastity which is so hard for them to give up. He will miss his old self if he would enter that kind of life. But for the “one-in-a-thousand”, maybe he’ll miss the chance of serving God in the way priests do.
Another “he” never wanted to be the one-in-a-thousand. When he was still a kid, his parents would always take him to the church everyday. After every mass, nuns would always ask, “Will your son be a priest when he grows up?”
Currently, he is taking up Information Technology. He just chose this course just to stall the time that he would enter the seminary. His parents are willing to give their only son back to its Creator by letting him serve in the church. As I have known him, I can never even imagine him being one! But no one ever knows God’s plan. Up to now, he never had the courage to tell his parents that he would never want to enter the realm of the single servants of God who are in a convent. He just doesn’t want to disappoint his parents’ expectations.
Even if my other friend chose to enter the seminary, there are still confusions that are troubling him. Even though he has the freewill to choose, he has to weigh things reasonably. He must choose between his full service to God or his self or for someone he might love someday. As for the latter, I hope he could gain the courage to tell his parents his decision. But whatever path they may take, I believe it is part of God’s plan and will. They may personally regret their decision but when they would reach the end, I’m certain that hey will realize the self-fulfillment they are looking for.
Don’t be afraid to cross the Rubicon, may it be between the two beloved souls who is your own self and God or between any choices we may make, but be just equipped and you’ll end up doing the right thing although it may not be that instant. Regrets may just be a spice but it is just a domino falling that leads you to the right end. I believe everybody would have his happy ending.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
NCAE
I did not know what it stood for until I received my test booklet.
Without a clue, the orange cover page read: “National Career Assessment Exam” now I understood why every senior high school student should take that test. It was supposed to let us know what skills we have so that we will be guided on what course we should take up in college or something like that—supposed to be. But I don’t seem to….anyway; this was the whole idea of the NCAE.
All of the senior students of each high school in Cebu took the said exam last January 11, 2007 (but I suppose that the seniors of all the high schools in the country have to take this test too). That was the talk-of-the-batch that time. I just heard about this NCAE thing from my elementary friends but I never had the idea that we too are to take the test.
“What? You’re school doesn’t get to take the exam? But why?” Becky asked. What a pleasant surprise. She was the one who told me that it is only our school that’s not taking the exam together with all the other schools in Cebu. To my surprise too, I cluelessly replied, “What’s that NCAE you are talking about?” I was devotedly (oh, really?) studying for our periodical exams that night I had my conversation with Becky. I began to think, “Is our school really that special that it is the only school in the whole of Cebu which is not taking the exam?”
Or, so I thought.
After our exhausting exams, the next thing I knew is that we are going to take the said exam the next Tuesday after that week. Oh, what a sudden change of plans. Then, I was starting to wonder what that test really was.
There were seven parts of the whole thing. The test parts that I remembered were: Science, Math, and Clerical Ability, Reading Comprehension, mechanical skills and entrepreneurial skills and oh, there was this part where you get to assess your economic status and attitude towards my interests. It was a multiple-choice kind of test.
First Part: Reading Comprehension
Tick-tock, tick-tock. The time was running so slow. We got to finish that part in just a few minutes when they gave us the whole eternity to answer it. Every one of us were just so bored, we can’t help it but we really had a chat with my classmates even though we are not allowed to do so but of course, we never touched on the topic about test items (rest assured!). Almost an hour has past after we were finished answering when our proctor said, “Time’s up. Let’s proceed to the next test part.” Oh how we were longing for that statement!
The Science and Math part were good but that sometimes we got confused on some of the test items which their answers were never in the choices. Sometimes, the questions were so out of the topic and so vague. There was even one part in the Science subtest which read,
For item no. 36 only, (then there’s a table below it)
The question in that item was never coherent with the table.
Question no. 37, Based on the table in item no.36…
Now, that’s what you call inconsistency or perhaps, irrelevant.
…supposed to be. But, I greatly doubt if it would serve its purpose. That was the standard National exam. I presume that the test items were reviewed a billion times before the test booklets were produced. I presume that this tool is effective for getting the actual career assessment of the students so that our career won’t be mismatched with our skills. But, there are many typographical errors or should I say misused concepts in the test items. Some of the questions have answers or sometimes there is not enough information to answer the questions.
I just hope that this would really help us and not just a test to waste our time with no reliable results.
Without a clue, the orange cover page read: “National Career Assessment Exam” now I understood why every senior high school student should take that test. It was supposed to let us know what skills we have so that we will be guided on what course we should take up in college or something like that—supposed to be. But I don’t seem to….anyway; this was the whole idea of the NCAE.
All of the senior students of each high school in Cebu took the said exam last January 11, 2007 (but I suppose that the seniors of all the high schools in the country have to take this test too). That was the talk-of-the-batch that time. I just heard about this NCAE thing from my elementary friends but I never had the idea that we too are to take the test.
“What? You’re school doesn’t get to take the exam? But why?” Becky asked. What a pleasant surprise. She was the one who told me that it is only our school that’s not taking the exam together with all the other schools in Cebu. To my surprise too, I cluelessly replied, “What’s that NCAE you are talking about?” I was devotedly (oh, really?) studying for our periodical exams that night I had my conversation with Becky. I began to think, “Is our school really that special that it is the only school in the whole of Cebu which is not taking the exam?”
Or, so I thought.
After our exhausting exams, the next thing I knew is that we are going to take the said exam the next Tuesday after that week. Oh, what a sudden change of plans. Then, I was starting to wonder what that test really was.
There were seven parts of the whole thing. The test parts that I remembered were: Science, Math, and Clerical Ability, Reading Comprehension, mechanical skills and entrepreneurial skills and oh, there was this part where you get to assess your economic status and attitude towards my interests. It was a multiple-choice kind of test.
First Part: Reading Comprehension
Tick-tock, tick-tock. The time was running so slow. We got to finish that part in just a few minutes when they gave us the whole eternity to answer it. Every one of us were just so bored, we can’t help it but we really had a chat with my classmates even though we are not allowed to do so but of course, we never touched on the topic about test items (rest assured!). Almost an hour has past after we were finished answering when our proctor said, “Time’s up. Let’s proceed to the next test part.” Oh how we were longing for that statement!
The Science and Math part were good but that sometimes we got confused on some of the test items which their answers were never in the choices. Sometimes, the questions were so out of the topic and so vague. There was even one part in the Science subtest which read,
For item no. 36 only, (then there’s a table below it)
The question in that item was never coherent with the table.
Question no. 37, Based on the table in item no.36…
Now, that’s what you call inconsistency or perhaps, irrelevant.
…supposed to be. But, I greatly doubt if it would serve its purpose. That was the standard National exam. I presume that the test items were reviewed a billion times before the test booklets were produced. I presume that this tool is effective for getting the actual career assessment of the students so that our career won’t be mismatched with our skills. But, there are many typographical errors or should I say misused concepts in the test items. Some of the questions have answers or sometimes there is not enough information to answer the questions.
I just hope that this would really help us and not just a test to waste our time with no reliable results.
Monday, January 29, 2007
The Man Syndrome, The Woman Syndrome
Sometimes, I just can’t convince myself why it is better to be a girl than a boy. There are just many things that I can’t do when I’m in this kind of body. I can’t just remove my shirt in front of men whenever I feel so hot (nah, uh—not the hot feeling whenever we are in the summer solstice!); or I can’t rush things like traveling whenever I get caught by the rush hours by just hanging on to the jeepney instead of waiting in vain for a ‘spacey’ jeepney. I can’t ride a bike if I’m wearing a skirt. I can’t do the “spread eagle” (You know what I mean.) in public and; the worst is, being uncomfortable every month of my life (as if I have “this” every month.). These are just some out of a million things that I hate about being a girl. But, I come to think of this—these are just minor problems (hey, that’s another problem of a girl!), there is more to femininity than these girly problems.
Being a female is much more of good news to me because women have high endurance of pain than men. Talking about the labor and pain in giving birth, emotional and sometimes psychological problems that women have the greater chance to survive—this can explain the statistics that show that a bigger percentage of men commit suicide than women.
Okay, enough for the women’s good points. Let’s tackle on the weak sides of both men and women. I don’t want to be too one-sided on this, so I asked a man who is my friend Timon (Hi Monti!), to give me some inputs on the issue on the men’s point of view. So this was his answer (verbatim):
“The problem of men and women:
A woman likes the seduction part (flirting and stuff). A man likes what comes after. The problem of a woman is to maintain all of that attention. The problem of the man is how to reach the end. As Don Quixote said, “Love for most young teens is NOT love BUT LUST.””
I was surprised with his answer but he has a point there. That’s what I have observed by most teens now like what my friends saw at the lagoon last Sunday (I don’t have to mention it.). But as a teen, I can’t somehow relate with what Don Quixote said because I still haven’t sot to the point where I was to draw a line between love and lust. On the lighter side of the issue (still verbatim) he said, “I do have minor problems as a MAN, problems like shaving and other hygiene practices for men (but some women do some of those). One of the men’s problems is the moral obligation to protect women (but some think that it is a sexist mentality).”
It’s just so funny why he sees that obligation as a problem like it’s a burden. I just don’t know, maybe it really is. I can’t judge them of what they totally are and how they live their lives because I don’t get the feeling of being one, of course.
Both sides have their own problems so there’s no point of arguing on which is the better gender. Now, I’m finally convinced and contented that I’m a girl. I suppose you are satisfied with what your own gender offers you too.
Being a female is much more of good news to me because women have high endurance of pain than men. Talking about the labor and pain in giving birth, emotional and sometimes psychological problems that women have the greater chance to survive—this can explain the statistics that show that a bigger percentage of men commit suicide than women.
Okay, enough for the women’s good points. Let’s tackle on the weak sides of both men and women. I don’t want to be too one-sided on this, so I asked a man who is my friend Timon (Hi Monti!), to give me some inputs on the issue on the men’s point of view. So this was his answer (verbatim):
“The problem of men and women:
A woman likes the seduction part (flirting and stuff). A man likes what comes after. The problem of a woman is to maintain all of that attention. The problem of the man is how to reach the end. As Don Quixote said, “Love for most young teens is NOT love BUT LUST.””
I was surprised with his answer but he has a point there. That’s what I have observed by most teens now like what my friends saw at the lagoon last Sunday (I don’t have to mention it.). But as a teen, I can’t somehow relate with what Don Quixote said because I still haven’t sot to the point where I was to draw a line between love and lust. On the lighter side of the issue (still verbatim) he said, “I do have minor problems as a MAN, problems like shaving and other hygiene practices for men (but some women do some of those). One of the men’s problems is the moral obligation to protect women (but some think that it is a sexist mentality).”
It’s just so funny why he sees that obligation as a problem like it’s a burden. I just don’t know, maybe it really is. I can’t judge them of what they totally are and how they live their lives because I don’t get the feeling of being one, of course.
Both sides have their own problems so there’s no point of arguing on which is the better gender. Now, I’m finally convinced and contented that I’m a girl. I suppose you are satisfied with what your own gender offers you too.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Zildjian
All of us in the family love music. We share almost the same feeling for music. We like the same genre of music. Well, most of the time my brother gets to influence much of the music that I like. We get to like various genres of music—alternative, rock, mushy love songs—anything! But “boy bands” is a NO-NO under our roof! It’s like a taboo if you’re in our territory. But sometimes, we get to laugh at our boy band jokes or sometimes make fun of them. Because of our love of music, specifically the beat of the drums, my brother and I wants to learn more about how to play the drums—drums of a band set (because you might think of just any other drum in the world). In fact, we just can’t get enough of the movie Drumline. We always watch it over and over again. We just want to hear the drum beat.
So what’s with the name?
I would like to note that Zildjian is a name of a drum set. It’s the world largest manufacturer of these world-class cymbals. They also sell drum-related accessories, such as drum sticks and drum heads. Its name is a living legend since it is one of the oldest in the whole world since it has existed for over four hundred years now. Zildjian is one of the best brands of cymbals all of seasons. The name itself is pleasing to the ears. This is what’s so special about the name—Zildjian.
Now, why am I so into this name?
He is more than a pleasant noise that rings my eardrums. He is a cuddly little thing that soothes my soul. When I hear his cry, it’s like something has hit the crasher. When he laughs, it’s like he’s playing with the ride. When he’s sick, it’s like he felt the vibration as the bass has been hit by the virus that is infecting him. When he is not in the mood, it’s like his snear has been hit by the snares of the bad forces of nature. Zildjian is one of the most beautiful things that the storks brought into our home. His chinky eyes twinkle at you. His dimple caves in deep into his face every time he smiles. His chubby cheeks (like mine! Oops!) make his face rounder. He means everything to me and everyone here in the house.
Now, you may have the actual idea of what I’m talking about.
Well of course, he’s not my son (if that’s what you really thought—oh my goodness! Still too young here!). He’s my nephew. Now, it’s about the name. Why Zildjian? Go back to the top of the page and you’ll see the reason why we thought of that name. It’s all about the love for music, ladies and gentlemen. We just can’t get music out of our heads just don’t get to think that I can play musical instruments. Ironic, huh? But, coincidentally, it is an anagram for his mother’s name, Janzel. Get it?
So what’s with the name?
I would like to note that Zildjian is a name of a drum set. It’s the world largest manufacturer of these world-class cymbals. They also sell drum-related accessories, such as drum sticks and drum heads. Its name is a living legend since it is one of the oldest in the whole world since it has existed for over four hundred years now. Zildjian is one of the best brands of cymbals all of seasons. The name itself is pleasing to the ears. This is what’s so special about the name—Zildjian.
Now, why am I so into this name?
He is more than a pleasant noise that rings my eardrums. He is a cuddly little thing that soothes my soul. When I hear his cry, it’s like something has hit the crasher. When he laughs, it’s like he’s playing with the ride. When he’s sick, it’s like he felt the vibration as the bass has been hit by the virus that is infecting him. When he is not in the mood, it’s like his snear has been hit by the snares of the bad forces of nature. Zildjian is one of the most beautiful things that the storks brought into our home. His chinky eyes twinkle at you. His dimple caves in deep into his face every time he smiles. His chubby cheeks (like mine! Oops!) make his face rounder. He means everything to me and everyone here in the house.
Now, you may have the actual idea of what I’m talking about.
Well of course, he’s not my son (if that’s what you really thought—oh my goodness! Still too young here!). He’s my nephew. Now, it’s about the name. Why Zildjian? Go back to the top of the page and you’ll see the reason why we thought of that name. It’s all about the love for music, ladies and gentlemen. We just can’t get music out of our heads just don’t get to think that I can play musical instruments. Ironic, huh? But, coincidentally, it is an anagram for his mother’s name, Janzel. Get it?
Monday, January 22, 2007
Against the Waves
After the tutorials, I suddenly thought about my plans for college. So I decided to go to USC Main and try to find out how I am going to go to college. That was a January 20, the day for the big procession for the Sto. Niño. I did not realize that that was going to happen until I got there. I, together with Eñego, got caught up in traffic and we got to walk some blocks to get to the university. At the end of the road was our destination but the current of the people won’t let us through. So we decided to go with the flow, in order for us to cross the road. God made us join the procession for Him.
I was so surprised when Nico shared to me that it was his first time to join the procession for the Sto. Niño. It was ironic because he was once a student of the Sto. Niño School when he was still in elementary. He shared to me his experiences when he was still in grade school while we were finding our way to reach the gates of USC.
After minutes of chit-chatting while walking, we finally set foot on the campus, we then realized, “Now what?” so both of us decided to ask the person in charge on what to do and he simply replied, “The office is closed.” Oh, what a nice answer.
I don’t know but, at that time, I didn’t feel bad that I didn’t get what I was there for. We just enjoyed the adventure of crossing the river of people. Anyway, we just decided to go against the flow, to go far away from where we were just to get home. We walked kilometers away from the crowd that we reached Carbon. We almost got lost. We even got to laugh at ourselves that we almost got lost. Fortunately, a jeepney was passing by and it was traveling for SM. Without any hesitations, we rode the jeepney, we are finally safe. Whew….What a productive afternoon it has been.
We got to ride a jeepney with someone who was very mysterious, a girl who kept on smiling at us. We found it weird because we clearly noticed her. Maybe she knows us. We just don’t know. Then, Nico noticed that the girl was making adjustments to her bracelet and he saw these words on her bracelet—“Youth for Christ” Now it made sense! At that time, I was wearing a YFC shirt and she recognized it. She wanted to make us notice her that she too is a member of this group. Well it was fun making and proving theories after all!
I was so surprised when Nico shared to me that it was his first time to join the procession for the Sto. Niño. It was ironic because he was once a student of the Sto. Niño School when he was still in elementary. He shared to me his experiences when he was still in grade school while we were finding our way to reach the gates of USC.
After minutes of chit-chatting while walking, we finally set foot on the campus, we then realized, “Now what?” so both of us decided to ask the person in charge on what to do and he simply replied, “The office is closed.” Oh, what a nice answer.
I don’t know but, at that time, I didn’t feel bad that I didn’t get what I was there for. We just enjoyed the adventure of crossing the river of people. Anyway, we just decided to go against the flow, to go far away from where we were just to get home. We walked kilometers away from the crowd that we reached Carbon. We almost got lost. We even got to laugh at ourselves that we almost got lost. Fortunately, a jeepney was passing by and it was traveling for SM. Without any hesitations, we rode the jeepney, we are finally safe. Whew….What a productive afternoon it has been.
We got to ride a jeepney with someone who was very mysterious, a girl who kept on smiling at us. We found it weird because we clearly noticed her. Maybe she knows us. We just don’t know. Then, Nico noticed that the girl was making adjustments to her bracelet and he saw these words on her bracelet—“Youth for Christ” Now it made sense! At that time, I was wearing a YFC shirt and she recognized it. She wanted to make us notice her that she too is a member of this group. Well it was fun making and proving theories after all!
The Dungeon
The Dungeon
January 20, 2007
This was the fine Saturday that I was looking forward to--A perfect day for the MAke tutorials. I was so excited because this was yet my first time to get to meet kids whom I would help to let them learn Math. After those three absences, I still get to join the league, not of the extraordinary men of Math but of willing volunteers that would want to tutor these grade schoolers. My horrible predictions didn’t happen, thank God. I want to share to you my personal experiences and realizations when I taught those children.
Group ten—this was the group I, together with my partner get to teach. I didn’t care who were in that class, I just want to get things done and make them understand how Math works. So it was done. They told me they totally understood the Greek language I was speaking until I saw the results of their check-up exam. My whole world crumbled for a while. I did not know where I went wrong. Is it the way I speak? Am I too fast in the discussions? I don’t know. Now, I totally understand why most of us hate math and sometimes, we get to blame the teachers. It’s not their fault but it’s the subject itself. After hours of explaining to them slowly about ratio and proportion, they don’t even understand what value is…whew…that was exhausting.
So we tried to teach them one by one and it seemed that this technique worked efficiently than a group discussion. Now I understand what group ten meant.
After my first day as a mentor, every other volunteer is asking me how my first day was. I thought our class was the worst ever but, compared to other classes, ours was just one of the most behaved classes, although they were a bit slow compared to the other classes. You get to know different personalities of the students. One is naughty but knows it all, the other is behaved but doesn’t understand a thing, another naughty one and doesn’t know a thing too, and some are behaved because they’re determined to learn.
Anyway, that was a learning experience for me in preparation of the Know Your School Day. It is where we get to take our teachers their positions and give them a break. I want to be a teacher in Calculus too. I find it quite challenging. I hope I wouldn’t have trouble in teaching my classmates like those stubborn kids that I once taught.
January 20, 2007
This was the fine Saturday that I was looking forward to--A perfect day for the MAke tutorials. I was so excited because this was yet my first time to get to meet kids whom I would help to let them learn Math. After those three absences, I still get to join the league, not of the extraordinary men of Math but of willing volunteers that would want to tutor these grade schoolers. My horrible predictions didn’t happen, thank God. I want to share to you my personal experiences and realizations when I taught those children.
Group ten—this was the group I, together with my partner get to teach. I didn’t care who were in that class, I just want to get things done and make them understand how Math works. So it was done. They told me they totally understood the Greek language I was speaking until I saw the results of their check-up exam. My whole world crumbled for a while. I did not know where I went wrong. Is it the way I speak? Am I too fast in the discussions? I don’t know. Now, I totally understand why most of us hate math and sometimes, we get to blame the teachers. It’s not their fault but it’s the subject itself. After hours of explaining to them slowly about ratio and proportion, they don’t even understand what value is…whew…that was exhausting.
So we tried to teach them one by one and it seemed that this technique worked efficiently than a group discussion. Now I understand what group ten meant.
After my first day as a mentor, every other volunteer is asking me how my first day was. I thought our class was the worst ever but, compared to other classes, ours was just one of the most behaved classes, although they were a bit slow compared to the other classes. You get to know different personalities of the students. One is naughty but knows it all, the other is behaved but doesn’t understand a thing, another naughty one and doesn’t know a thing too, and some are behaved because they’re determined to learn.
Anyway, that was a learning experience for me in preparation of the Know Your School Day. It is where we get to take our teachers their positions and give them a break. I want to be a teacher in Calculus too. I find it quite challenging. I hope I wouldn’t have trouble in teaching my classmates like those stubborn kids that I once taught.
The Return of our Prodigal Son
The day after that exhausting World War (I’m glad to note that everything has just been forgiven and fine just within that day when it happened), was such a bright day. My mom was so excited that our eldest brother was coming home that day.
“Wake up! Wake up! We must prepare the spaghetti and grill the pork and get ready because he’s coming!” that was our wake up call that day.
You may be wondering why she was so excited of his coming back, considering that we used to see our brother everyday—used to. I know she missed him so much as much as kuya missed us. He even missed spending the Christmas and New Year celebration with us. Now you know why. So, where has he been all those times?
He is now working in a call center in Bacolod city. He has been there for over five months now. I think he’s doing well there. It wasn’t easy to settle to another civilization, even though he’s just on the same archipelago. Cebu and Bacolod are too different.
People from Bacolod thinks we, Cebuanos are of lowly class. I think they’ve got this superiority complex. They look down on us. Maybe because most of the Cebuanos who are staying there are those who are poor who just go to Bacolod and work there as taxi drivers, helpers and jobs of that sort. That’s why their perception of Cebuanos are the “baduy”. Well, they have a good sense of fashion but that’s all they got. They don’t have steamed rice which my brother missed so much. These are some of my brother’s personal testimonies. He learned much from them though.
My mother never approved that he would go to Bacolod but my brother’s so stubborn and has this fighting spirit to take his chances in going to Bacolod. While he was still settling there, he had trouble in finding money while he wasn’t receiving a penny yet from the company from where he is working. He got to ask my mom for money. That’s why my mom is so worried about him. He is the kind of person who is firm with whatever decisions he makes, though this character is good, this may still harm him. He never listened to my mom when my mom protested against his decision of staying in Bacolod. Now, do you get the idea of him being our prodigal son?
“Wake up! Wake up! We must prepare the spaghetti and grill the pork and get ready because he’s coming!” that was our wake up call that day.
You may be wondering why she was so excited of his coming back, considering that we used to see our brother everyday—used to. I know she missed him so much as much as kuya missed us. He even missed spending the Christmas and New Year celebration with us. Now you know why. So, where has he been all those times?
He is now working in a call center in Bacolod city. He has been there for over five months now. I think he’s doing well there. It wasn’t easy to settle to another civilization, even though he’s just on the same archipelago. Cebu and Bacolod are too different.
People from Bacolod thinks we, Cebuanos are of lowly class. I think they’ve got this superiority complex. They look down on us. Maybe because most of the Cebuanos who are staying there are those who are poor who just go to Bacolod and work there as taxi drivers, helpers and jobs of that sort. That’s why their perception of Cebuanos are the “baduy”. Well, they have a good sense of fashion but that’s all they got. They don’t have steamed rice which my brother missed so much. These are some of my brother’s personal testimonies. He learned much from them though.
My mother never approved that he would go to Bacolod but my brother’s so stubborn and has this fighting spirit to take his chances in going to Bacolod. While he was still settling there, he had trouble in finding money while he wasn’t receiving a penny yet from the company from where he is working. He got to ask my mom for money. That’s why my mom is so worried about him. He is the kind of person who is firm with whatever decisions he makes, though this character is good, this may still harm him. He never listened to my mom when my mom protested against his decision of staying in Bacolod. Now, do you get the idea of him being our prodigal son?
When my Legs Broke, He Gave me Crutches
This post is about the same event as of my previous blog post but I had a different realization in this second part. I concealed the details on how our World War went. So, I’m going to tell you now.
As I was summing it all up, my mom won’t stop scolding me too. It felt like I don’t want to listen to her anymore. I started to raise my voice over hers claiming that I did not do anything wrong. I knew I was right that time. It’s just that, I was too disappointed with her decision and all the negative predictions on what will happen to me after my third miss. But she thought I was just so rebellious as not to accept her decision. She attempted to hit me a couple of times but I never allowed her to touch me. We were building up to the climax of our argument. She just misunderstood me. That was all.
When my brother saw me helpless against my mother, he hugged me tightly, covered me totally as not to let anything or anyone hurt me. I was crying. I can’t speak a word anymore. I can feel him around me, protecting me against all odds. That was the time that I was so, so down. His blanket made me cry harder, not because I was in pain but the joy that made my heart leap that my God sent me an instrument, not just any typical angel, but a person whom I thought that would care for me the least.
He brought me to his room, comforted me, brushed my tangled hair with his hand while he was still keeping me tuck into his arms and started talking to me as bravely as he can.
“I know you’re right but it’s your mother you’ve been talking to. You can’t do anything about it. We must always obey her,” and he started to sniff.
I didn’t see his face, but his voice started to shake. He pinched my cheeks like I was a little girl. He smiled at me, like he was trying to hide from me that he wasn’t crying but his tears won’t stop flowing.
“You know what; this is part of our developing stage. Been there, done that. But, I’m not encouraging you to do it, okay?”
I was just nodding to every word he said because I believe he’s right. I started to smile and started to accept all these realities in life. He was so insensitive to my needs as my brother. This was why I never expected him to do all of these for me. Now, I can really feel that I'm not alone. Now, that someone understands what I've been through. And, I thank the One from above.
-jann
01/22/07
As I was summing it all up, my mom won’t stop scolding me too. It felt like I don’t want to listen to her anymore. I started to raise my voice over hers claiming that I did not do anything wrong. I knew I was right that time. It’s just that, I was too disappointed with her decision and all the negative predictions on what will happen to me after my third miss. But she thought I was just so rebellious as not to accept her decision. She attempted to hit me a couple of times but I never allowed her to touch me. We were building up to the climax of our argument. She just misunderstood me. That was all.
When my brother saw me helpless against my mother, he hugged me tightly, covered me totally as not to let anything or anyone hurt me. I was crying. I can’t speak a word anymore. I can feel him around me, protecting me against all odds. That was the time that I was so, so down. His blanket made me cry harder, not because I was in pain but the joy that made my heart leap that my God sent me an instrument, not just any typical angel, but a person whom I thought that would care for me the least.
He brought me to his room, comforted me, brushed my tangled hair with his hand while he was still keeping me tuck into his arms and started talking to me as bravely as he can.
“I know you’re right but it’s your mother you’ve been talking to. You can’t do anything about it. We must always obey her,” and he started to sniff.
I didn’t see his face, but his voice started to shake. He pinched my cheeks like I was a little girl. He smiled at me, like he was trying to hide from me that he wasn’t crying but his tears won’t stop flowing.
“You know what; this is part of our developing stage. Been there, done that. But, I’m not encouraging you to do it, okay?”
I was just nodding to every word he said because I believe he’s right. I started to smile and started to accept all these realities in life. He was so insensitive to my needs as my brother. This was why I never expected him to do all of these for me. Now, I can really feel that I'm not alone. Now, that someone understands what I've been through. And, I thank the One from above.
-jann
01/22/07
Sunday, January 21, 2007
ASeJANN SUMmIT all up
January 12 to 15, 2007-- After we've spent over a million pesos, built the Cebu International Convention Center and put up all those decorative lamps, the 12th ASEAN Summit has finally come. The postponement of this once-in-a-blue-moon event bothered a lot of things. The livelihoods of the big-time businessmen, as well as small entrepreneurs, the schedule of employees, the million-peso profit that hotels could have gained, the traffic, our own businesses, our schedules, our lives, ourselves--These were greatly affected. I was even caught up in a 3rd World War because of this Summit.
January 13, 2007--The second day of this special event that had been happening, a fine Saturday perfect for the MaKE(MAth Knowledge Enhancement) tutorials. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, took a bath and I was ready to go when my mom suddenly said, "Where are you going? You can't reach the city because the roads are closed and public schools are off-limits because of the ASEAN delegates… blah…blah… blah…”
I don’t get it. Why was she babbling about those things when the school, the RAFI (Ramon Aboitiz Foundation, Inc.), and the Hipodromo Elementary School told us that there will be tutuorials? Of course, they won’t put us at risk of not getting home. Plus, she got to think of that stuff when she already allowed me to go the day before. But, as her daughter, I can’t do anything about it and I must obey her. And so I did.
I totally understood her reason why she made her last-minute change of decision. So, I just called up my co-volunteers and explained to them why I can’t go. That was my third absence out of three sessions only. I could get kicked out of the league because I always missed out the tutorials! Thinking about these things, I wept quietly. I was just so afraid that it might happen. When my mom saw me crying, she still kept on blaming-my-school lines when she was the one who enrolled me to this school which she hates so much? How ironic.
It was an ear sore. Maybe I reached my elastic limit and thus, the World War was ignited. I told her all the things about what I hate. But I, never hated her.
Perhaps you might think that I was such a bad girl all the way but no—it made me a better daughter to my mom and I get to understand her more, if it weren’t for my brother and sister.
-jann
01/22/07
January 13, 2007--The second day of this special event that had been happening, a fine Saturday perfect for the MaKE(MAth Knowledge Enhancement) tutorials. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, took a bath and I was ready to go when my mom suddenly said, "Where are you going? You can't reach the city because the roads are closed and public schools are off-limits because of the ASEAN delegates… blah…blah… blah…”
I don’t get it. Why was she babbling about those things when the school, the RAFI (Ramon Aboitiz Foundation, Inc.), and the Hipodromo Elementary School told us that there will be tutuorials? Of course, they won’t put us at risk of not getting home. Plus, she got to think of that stuff when she already allowed me to go the day before. But, as her daughter, I can’t do anything about it and I must obey her. And so I did.
I totally understood her reason why she made her last-minute change of decision. So, I just called up my co-volunteers and explained to them why I can’t go. That was my third absence out of three sessions only. I could get kicked out of the league because I always missed out the tutorials! Thinking about these things, I wept quietly. I was just so afraid that it might happen. When my mom saw me crying, she still kept on blaming-my-school lines when she was the one who enrolled me to this school which she hates so much? How ironic.
It was an ear sore. Maybe I reached my elastic limit and thus, the World War was ignited. I told her all the things about what I hate. But I, never hated her.
Perhaps you might think that I was such a bad girl all the way but no—it made me a better daughter to my mom and I get to understand her more, if it weren’t for my brother and sister.
-jann
01/22/07
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
